Expect the Unexpected™

Theme song

2011-02-15T03:21:00.001+08:00

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night

I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end

Race of life

2010-12-10T14:33:00.000+08:00

Some people might feel that life is unfair

They feel that the grass is greener on the other side

They feel that their burden is much heavier than others

They were angry at their parents and their life

They began to blame others for bad situations they face

And the list goes on...

But one thing we must always remember..

God will fulfill all the promises He gave to us

In Matthew 11:30 He said "For my yoke is easy to bear,and the burden I give you is light."

In 1Thessalonians 5:16–18 He asked us to

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing,

give thanks in all circumstances;

for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

"This is what the LORD says--He who made you,

who formed you in the womb, and who will help you: Do not be afraid." Isaiah 44:2

In Romans 8:28 He said "All things will work for good for those who loves Him and who are called according to his purpose."

And one more thing we should know:

If God put us in a situation that's hard to get by, be glad!!!

That just shows that He trusts us, entrust us with great trials cause He believe we are capable to solve that situation.

We are a good work in process and remember that

"The testing of your faith produces endurance.

And let endurance have its perfect result,

so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." James 1:3-4

Not only we are a good work in process, He also said that

"Behold, I am coming quickly, and my reward is with Me

to give to every one according to his works” Revelation 22:12

Until the day we meet Him face to face, we can stand boldly and say "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race,I have kept the faith" 2Timothy 4:7

Thank You by T.D Jakes

2010-11-26T16:46:00.001+08:00

Dear God,

I am not going to wait until I see results or receive rewards.
I am thanking you right now.

I am not going to wait until I feel better or things look better,
I am thanking you right now.

I am not going to wait until people say they are sorry or until they stop talking about me,
I am thanking you right now.

I am not going to wait until the pain in my body disappears.
I am thanking you right now.

I am not going to wait until my financial situation improves.
I am going to thank you right now.

I am not going to wait until everyone is asleep and the house is quiet,
I am going to thank you right now.

I am not going to wait until I get promoted at work or until I get the job,
I am going to thank you right now.

I am not going to wait until I understand every experience in my life that has caused me pain or grief.
I am going to thank you right now.

I am not going to wait until the journey gets easier or the challenges are removed,
I am thanking you right now.

I am thanking you because I am alive.
I am thanking you because I made it through the day's difficulties.
I am thanking you because I have walked around the obstacles.
I am thanking you because I have the ability and the opportunity to do more and do better.

I am thanking you because, Father, You have not given up on me.

just in time

2010-11-23T12:02:00.001+08:00

I love it when You talk to me
Just in time.. Always spot on..
You know what goes through me
Even without asking or before me telling..
And You answer it immediately
It makes me realize that You're so near

I may not know what I want
But I know you'll give me the best You have
In Your promises I trust
I will not be afraid

Remember that it was a crown of thorns that Jesus wore so we might know His love. So praise Him for the roses and thank Him for the thorns in our life.

Always..

2010-10-27T16:58:00.001+08:00

Looking at people and things around me make me amaze by how great and wonderful God is..

Things noone know.. Things noone can see..
He knows them in details..
He care about the smallest things..
He see us through every second of our life..

Though we may sin, we may ran away
But He's always there waiting for us
Waiting for us to come on our knees
Waiting for us to run to his embrace

He provides everything we needs
He treats us with things we want
He even rewards us with things we never see
He gives us nothing but the very best

Nothing will make Him love us less
For his love for us is true

I want to put You first beyond all things
I promise I wouldn't trade You for anything
Teach me to give thanks in all my ways
And all I want to is to love You
Always..

Give me wings to fly

2010-10-01T02:38:00.002+08:00

LOVE is a word, simple and plain
But its hard to explain

Love has wings to fly
And everywhere it wants it will go
Some fly alone, some fly in two

There was a time when love passed me by
It swept my feet away and gave me wings to fly
Being too young to know, I follow where it go

We fly so high that we almost touch the sky
It made me smile and happy too
Not just for a day or two
As soon as I know, years had passed us by

But one fine day, it go away without a goodbye
I lost my wing and fell right to where I come
It made me wonder whether I will ever fly

When I least expect it, it knocked into my heart
But now, I'm on my guard
I'm not ready yet, I can't pretend
Just give me sometimes
If God allows, love will find a way
And eventually it will give me wings to fly :)

First Cake

2010-07-31T00:30:00.000+08:00

After attending 2 lessons of the decorating class, i think i really enjoy it :)
And here are some pictures of what i have done...

The instructor asked us to bring 8 inch x 3 inch cake..
At first was quite lost cause i dont have any baking materials at home..
But after i asked my friends, she suggested that i can just bring oandan cake..
Its not expensive and can be found anywhere..

So i bought a pandan cake and since theres a hole in the middle, i used a cake roll and stuff it in hahaha...
I came class early to prepare teh icing cause i have no mixer at home..
Turned out there's another girl who can early too so we have to take turn in using the mixer..
Since she wanted to use the mixer first, i ended up quite late to finish all the icing preparation..
Next time i will come even earlier just in case :p

When the rest came i'm still in the middle of the process...
They came all done, prepared with their cake already covered with the icing..
So when i tried to ice the cake, the instructor decided to take over and asked me to prepare the icing for decoration...


The cake evolution :P

Colored icing for decoration

I enjoy the decorating part but its quite tiring after sometimes cause we have to do it one by one until the space is filled with color..
This time round we are supposed to make a rainbow..
So here we goes.. my rainbow with clouds :)

After that the instructor taught us how to make clowns in difefrent pose and positions..
Below is the clowns made by the instructor...

And here is my final cake with 2 clowns buddy hahaha...
All the hard work paid off.. satisfied with my creations..
Though its still far from perfect :P


Final Cake..

After everything i have to clean up all the mess + washed all the bowls and mixers..
It was oily cause teh icing is made from butter stuff... so quite a challenge to wash everything..

Looking forward next week class to decorate cupcakes :)
And next thursday we have to decorate another cake with flower patterns..
This time we have to create our own designs...
It will be more challenging but thats where the fun and satisfaction will come from :)

excitement

2010-07-23T22:58:00.001+08:00

I'm so excited now!!!

Cause this time I finally find a suitable place n time to learn cake decorating..
Can't wait for it to begin :D
Though its just the decoration part, mom said that she will teach me to bake the cake..

Still remember that she used to make me birthday cakes or puddings when I was young :)
She also made me few costumes, bags and hats..
Well I couldn't deny that my mom cook great food, bake nice and delicious cakes..
Even my relatives always say that I should pick up baking n cooking skill from my mum..

She had one full cupboard of recipe from food to cakes to all kind of edible things haha..
But each time I wanted to try to make something I got lost in all the recipes and I ended up not making anything hahaa..

But I think now I have to.. I should not procrastinate cause I think its a skill a womanly woman should have haha..
Ok slowly I will learn and ask her to impart her skills :) if only she stay here I can ask her to teach me new things every day haha..

One other thing I'm interested in is flower arranging.. I did went for 1 flower arranging class but up to now I haven't attend any yet again..

I'm interested to learning and make many many art and crafts stuff but I couldn't find the place n time..
But I think what I lack is the enthusiasm in the research part haha.. Well I never like doing research since last time :p

But at least now I'm going to accomplish one :D

Thank God for the chance.. May I develop the talent u have given to me..
Give me more creativity so that I can use it to bless others and give You glory :)

Prayer

2010-06-29T01:21:00.000+08:00

Dear My Lord,
I pray for a man, who will be the part of me
A man who loves You more than anything...
A man who puts me on the second position in his heart, right after You
A man who lives his life not for himself, but for You
Physical attraction and good looking will be less important
Compare to a heart that truly longing for You

A man who has the thirst and hunger to be just like You
A man who knows for whom and for what purpose he lives on earth
So that his life will not be wasted

A man who has a heart full of wisdom, more than just a smart brain
A man who will not just love me, but also respect me
A man who will not only adore me, but also will give me advise whenever i make a mistake
A man who loves me not because of my appearance, but because of my heart
A man who will be my best friend in every situation and condition

I am not asking for a perfect person
But i ask for an imperfect person
So that i will be able to help him to reach perfection in Your eyes

A man who needs my help for his support
A man who needs my prayer in his entire life
A man who needs my smile to conquer his sorrow
A man who needs my existence in his entire being

And i also pray so that i will be a woman of God who can make him proud
Give me a heart who loves You fully, so that i can love him with Your love.
Not only with my worldly and emotional love

Give me Your gentle Spirit so that my beauty will come from You, not from myself
Give me Your hands so that i can pray for him
Give me Your eyes so i can see all the goodness in him, not only the negative things
Give me Your mouth that full of wisdom, encouragement, so i can support him everyday
Give me Your lips so i will be able to smile for him every single morning

And when we finally meet, i wish we both could say,
“How great and amazing our God is, that he gave me someone who can make my life whole in Him”

I know for sure that God wants us to meet each other in the right place at the right time
and our God is a God who is able to make everything beautiful beyond words...
in His perfect time....
Amen...

Be Yourself

2010-06-14T09:03:00.000+08:00

It doesn’t take much to win the heart
What it requires is just honesty
Nothing impresses the heart more than the simple act of honesty..

Being yourself and just the way you are
Its ok to show your vulnerability
I am fine with flaws for I do have flaws too
Noone is perfect..

Why try so hard while what I want to know the most is just your true self
Its an effortless gesture but trust me..
That’s what I want to see from you

Don’t try so hard being someone whom you are not
It wears you out and doesn’t impress me too

For when I know that you are being true
Just being you, no more pretense
That is when I can TRUST you
And when there’s trust
I can be sure that my heart is safe with you

I Thought I Knew

2010-06-11T14:43:00.001+08:00

I did not know His Love before,
The way I know it now.
I could not see my need for Him,
My pride would not allow.

I had it all, without a care,
The "Self-sufficient" lie.
My path was smooth, my sea was still,
Not a cloud was in my sky.

I thought I knew His Love for me,
I thought I had seen His Grace,
I thought I did not need to grow,
I thought I had found my place.

But then the way grew rough and dark,
The storm clouds quickly rolled;
The waves began to rock my ship,
My anchor would not hold.

The ship that I had built myself
Was made of foolish pride.
It fell apart and left me bare,
With nowhere else to hide.

I had no strength or faith to face
The trials that lay ahead,
And so I simply prayed to Him
And bowed my weary head.

His Loving Arms enveloped me,
And then He helped me stand.
He Said, "You still must face this storm,
But not alone, I will hold your hand."

So through the dark and lonely night
He guided me through the pain.
I could not see the light of day
Or when the storm might wane.

Yet through the aches and endless tears,
My faith began to grow.
I could not see it at the time,
But my light began to glow.

I saw God's Love in brand new light,
His Grace and Mercy, too.
For only when all self was gone
Could Jesus' Love shine through.

It was not easy in the storm,
I sometimes wondered, "Why?"
At times I thought, "I can't go on."
I'd hurt, and doubt, and cry.

But Jesus never left my side;
He guided me each day.
Through pain and strife, through fire and flood,
He Helped me all the way.

And now I see as never before
How great His Love can be.
How in my weakness He is Strong,
How Jesus cares for me!

He worked it all out for my good,
Although the way was rough.
He only sent what I could bear,
And then He cried, "Enough!"

He raised His hand and said, "Be still!"
He made the storm clouds cease.
He opened up the gates of joy
And flooded me with peace.

I saw His face now clearer still,
I felt His presence strong,
I found anew His Faithfulness,
He never did me wrong.

Now I know more storms will come,
But only for my good,
For pain and tears have helped me grow
As naught else ever could.

I still have so much more to learn
As Jesus works in me;
If in the storm I'll love Him more,
That's where I want to be!

by Anonymous

Romans 8:28

2010-05-25T20:42:00.016+08:00

In the darkest and deepest situation,
feeling hopeless and helpless,
getting all the intimidation and condemnation..

And when we turn to God,
we feel that He's too far to be reached..
Feeling too sinful and not worthy to ask for help
or even just to come to Him..
And sometimes we even feel that He had left us alone
to clean up our own mess..

But the real truth is He's never too far...
Its just the distance between our knees and the floor..
And He comes as soon as u call upon His Name..
He's just a prayer away..
Never a second He looks away from us
His eyes follow us wherever we go
No matter what happen He cares

"All things will work for good for those who loves Him and
who are called according to His purpose" [Romans 8:28]

All the negative thoughts are obviously from the Devil, who do not wants us to reach God's purpose He has for us..
The Devil wants us to stay mediocre and can't achieve victory..

Remember, nothing happen without Him not knowing..
All things happen for a reason
And no matter how bad we may think our situation is,
it will turn good if we trust Him :)
We serve a living God and He is bigger than anything..
So give Him thanks in all circumstance..

And to trust, it is more than just feeling the peace
when everything seems fine..
From what had happened, I personally have learnt that
to trust means being able to feel the peace even when all things go wrong cause to trust means deep down we know and believe that God is on our side and no matter how bad is the mess, He will make it work for good in the end :)

GOD RESTORES DOUBLE FOR OUR EVERY TROUBLE :)

Lord, teach me to trust You more and more
for I know You will not let any bad things happen to me
cause You have big great purpose for me :)
And lord give me more of Your wisdom
so You can use me to bless others around me :)
Thank You lord, I love You cause You have first love me :)

Hold me

2010-05-22T23:29:00.004+08:00

Everything I have and all You've given to me..
I didnt deserve it all, for its all come from Your mercy..

Who i am now, who i will be..
All because You've choose me..
So Lord, let me use and give it all just for Your glory

All i want Lord, is to be in Your presence
To feel Your endless love for me..
Teach me to loveYou more and more each day
And in all i do i did it because i love You..

No matter what may happen to me,
I know it happened because You love me
You've greater plans for me
Greater than i can ever ask or want to be

I know i'm not perfect, thats why i need You..I need You to work on me
To purify me, mould me, use me and enable me

But Lord, let me not forget
You're the reason i am who i am now
Hide me behind Your cross
To be less of me and more of You
Use me Lord for your glory

I dont know what the future holds for me
But all i know its all in Your hands
I know when i am weak You're strong...
Hold me Lord and i will never let You go

Day by day i know i can live only because of your mercy
Never a day i can pass without your grace abounds in me
Let Your favor fall on me
but most of all i want Your presence to always be with me..

You hand are never too short to rescue me
You're timing is never too late for me
I just want to love You more and more
For thats the reason i'm hanging on and live

Hidden sin

2010-05-11T05:27:00.009+08:00

You didn't kill neither did you steal..
You didn't gossip neither talk behind others back..
You pray and read the Bible night and day..
You go to church every sunday, in fact you serve the Lord..
You give offerings and never forget to tithe..
You donate to charity and help the needy..

You may avoid obvious sin such as killing but what if you are not holy
Your mind is filled with thoughts full of evil, envy, greed and lust
Isn't that a more scary sin??

You may donate to the charity and help the needy but u did those just to impress others.. There's no humility.. You are stealing God's glory..
Isn't that a more scary sin??

God wants us to be Holy for He is holy
And He wants su to humble ourself before Him
Holiness and humility could be the greatest pit fall if we don't guard our heart
Anyone of us could be the victim..
To hold these 2 values in life is not as easy as it seems
Cause these can be considered as "hidden sin"
Noone knows whether are you committing it, except God and you, yourself..
You could lead a normal life putting a facade without feeling any guilt
Worst of all, you may get used to it, ignore it and live with it..

And since it aa happened in the mind, you can't help it from happening..
The moment u realize that sin, it already happened and you've been defeated..
Your mind become the battlefield..
You are no longer fighting against your flesh and will..
But its a battle you have to win even before any attack coming..
You have to be on your guard all the time..

But God promised that no temptations are too hard for us to handle
Think about Him all the time..
Allow him to set us free not only from visible sin but also from hidden bondage..
I'm sure He is more than willing if we invite Him to come and be the ruler of our heart and mind..

No matter how small or transparent a sin is, it is still a sin..
Even when eyes could not see... or no matter how you may try to hide it...
God can see everything...

Miracles Are Real I Am Not Afraid

2010-05-02T18:59:00.011+08:00

Its finally May..
Despite the exam pressure, I believe that it will be a great month :)

To begin the month, saturday morning prayer was great..
Felt so blessed during the service :)

Going to EOE revision class during weekend was definitely a chore..
But to avoid guiltiness, I decided to attend hoping to get some enlightenment..
True enough I get some "enlightenment" but its not related with eoe at all..

I was telling my friend "I really need a miracle for eoe exam"
And after some pondering, i came up with a sentence
"Miracles Are Real I Am Not Afraid"
Well the sentence doesn't form instantly but somehow i get there...
Not a perfect sentence.. gramatically wrong..
But at least the meaning is there and its understood hahhaa
I take it as a personal encouragement behind my name :)

Seems funny haha.. But it reassures me that miracles are really real..
And it will come to pass if I believe and not afraid..

Lateley i've been learning many things from Him..
Learning to give Him everything with all my best..
Learning to trust Him even in every smallest aspect of my everyday life..
Learning how to give up things i've been clinging on in order to be ready to receive something new.. something better for sure..
Learning to understand that He will only give us whats the best.. so if He did not give what we want, He will be giving us greater things...
And was glad that He allows me to learn and see things in ways i never think before
I believe He will draw me closer and take me higher to the next level...

His goodness doesn't end just yet..
During sunday service, we sang a praise song and its about
Psalm 119:105 "Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path"
I like that song so much but it has been sometimes since that song was being sang...
Felt as though God is dedicating that song for me hahaha...
And guess what...
The pastor said that the sermon for today is titled miracle... hahaha...
I was kind of shocked, but again no such thing as coincidence in my dictionary :)

Though it's only the second day of the month, but it's so happening..
Make me can't wait to see what else He has i store..

He's beyond words and to end this i can only say...
Expect the Unexpected [1Cor 2:9] and Miracles Are Real I Am Not Afraid :)

First love

2010-04-25T02:42:00.004+08:00

Really can't hold the urge to blog...
Though I can't log in through my comp, managed to get in through my phone :)

These few week was really hectic..
Time seems to be running very fast..
In just few more days exam is going to start..
Pressure is definitely mounting, but I know I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me :)

I miss those times I can just sit sing and pray without worrying about the time..
But I know no matter what, He still with me all the time..

Few things to share..

Just few days ago when I was walking home, I remembered what was shared during cg..
"When we often get disappointed with Christians, God will allow us to encounter with Christians that will disappont us. Cause from this, God wants to teach us that we should not depend on human.. To God alone we should depend on cause He's perfect and He will not disappoint us"

But that evening the message speaks differently to the situation I faced..
"How long will u keep trying to always please the people around u.. You tried so hard, do all that you could just to make them happy.. You know its tiring yet u keep on doing it.. You sacrifice yourself and sometimes you even compromise God just to please people.. The more u do it.. God will allow more of such situation whereby you can't please others untill u finally realise that you really can't please everyone all the time"

Few days later, while I was reading..
The same message was being conveyed "God did not anoint us to be a people pleaser but He wants us to be God pleaser.. whatever we do we have to please Him"
Well I know its a personal test for me.. To make me a better vesel for His purpose..
And I know with His guidance He will bring me up to the next level...

Today, the message shared during prayer meeting was simple and short
But I really thank God for that message..
It saves me just in time before i feel deep..
It was about your first love..
Not any first love but its the love for the one and only God (Rev 2:1-7)

True enough that first love will fade through time...
Especially when we are busy or faced with a problem...
And the most scary part is that it happens even without us realizing..
Though we may still go to church, read the bible, serve the ministry..
Out of our consciousness, we sometimes we did that cause it has become part of our routine..
But when we did all those because we love Him, it will feel different..

Just imagine... When you are in love with someone..
You will want to know and find out everything about them..
You will do all you could to make them happy..
You will want to and will be happy talking to them all the time..
You do all these without being asked or even forced..
And you didn't do it cause it was part of your routine..
You did everything cause you are in love..

So now put God in place of the one you love..
Will you still have the same attitude?
Do you read the bible because you were asked to or you read it cause you want to know more about Him?
Do you serve in the ministry just to fill sunday morning schedule or you serve cause you want Him to be happy?
Do you pray cause its a habit or you pray cause you are happy talking with Him?

Its just a reminder for all of us..
Remember to keep the first love in our heart..
Never let it fades.. All the more we should let it grow more each day..

Teach me to believe, trust, obey and be faithful
And help me do all these because i love You :)

Purpose

2010-04-11T23:29:00.001+08:00

In less than a month exam is going to start... Can't wait for it to end..
But at the same time i still wonder how to spend my holiday..

3.5 months...
Quite a long time for a holiday...
Travel and travel and travel..
To as many places as i can go :)
Well that was the initial plan..

After attending CIP conference, i realise that i should do something more menaingful..
For life is not about self enjoyment and self excitement
We should know our purpose..
Something deeper than what we can see and what we want
So i think that not just to enjoy myself for that 3.5 months where most probably all the fun will be gone as soon as i get back to school..
I wnat to do something different.. Something more valuable than just traveling..

An investment maybe if i should say...
Investing myself into something more permanent..
Something that will not end after that 3.5 months..

Lead me Lord, guide me..
Tell me what to do..
Show me where should i go..
Wherever You ask me, i will go..

For i know if You are the One who ask me to come,
I will always be safe in Your arm :)

Girls vs Grown Women

2010-04-07T23:12:00.005+08:00

Some random facts but i think its eye opening and quite true :p

Girls vs Grown Women

Girls want to control the man in their life.

Grown women know that if he's truly hers, he doesn't need controlling.

Girls check you for not calling them.

Grown women are too busy to realize you hadn't..

Girls are afraid to be alone.

Grown women revel in it-using it as a time for personal growth.

Girls ignore the good guys.

Grown women ignore the bad guys.

Girls make you come home.

Grown women make you want to come home.

Girls leave their schedule wide-open and wait for a guy to call and make plans.

Grown women make their own plans and nicely tell the guy to get in where he fits.

Girls worry about not being pretty and/or good enough for their man.

Grown women know that they are pretty and/or good enough for any man.

Girls try to monopolize all their man's time (i.e., don't want him hanging with his friends).

Grown women realize that a lil' bit of space makes the 'together time' even more special

and goes to kick it with her own friends.

Girls think a guy crying is weak..

Grown women offer their shoulder and a tissue.

Girls want to be spoiled and 'tell' their man so.

Grown women 'show' him and make him comfortable enough to reciprocate,

without fear of losing his 'manhood'.

Girls get hurt by one man and make all men pay for it.

Grown women know that was just one man.

Girls fall in love and chase aimlessly after the object of their affection, ignoring all 'signs'.

Grown women know that sometimes the one you love,

don't always love you back-and move on, without bitterness.

Dear Lord,

2010-04-01T18:19:00.024+08:00

Who am i Lord,
That You died for me
That You choose me
and that You love me
If not by Your mercy and grace, how could i be save

Thinking about all You've done
The pain and sufferings You've been through
Your love and sacrifices just so that we can live

You bring me back from the busy world
Refreshing my soul
Holding me close in Your embrace
No other place is better than this

I hear Your sweet small voice
Telling me not to be afraid
Reminding me that Your promises will never fail
Comforting me that everything happened for good

You love me so dear and You want me to draw near
Asking me to be still while waiting for Your perfect timing
Turning my mourning into dancing, my sorrow into joy
Giving me only all the best thing, i know You will

Putting all my hopes and future in Your hands
For You understand me than anyone can do
and You know me better than i myself do

Through the valley and the mountain
Through the joy and the pain
Yesterday, today and forever
You assure me that You'll never leave me

Reminding me to put trust in You
To be faithful even when i'm doubtful
and to obey whatever You say

Lord, i really need You..
I will never leave You..
And in all that i do, i want to give thanks to You :)

Once Again..

2010-03-21T03:04:00.017+08:00

Read through what had happened since..
Undeniably long conversation we had..
Really brought me back to each moments we share..

Seems like wacthing a typical drama...
Whereby it started sweet, tears and laughters in between,
but unfortunately, no definite ending..
Not a bad ending though, depends on how we percieve it...
Well it could be an expected one to some,
but to me it is definitely unexpected...
[my cous said blame my motto of expect the unexpected :p hahaha]

All these stir my feelings and thoughts once again..
I thought i will be fine and at the same time it made me think...
Is it ok to read it all over again?
Is it ok to still keep all those conversations?
Is it ok to remember about the past?
Is it even ok if miss what used to be?

Ok, decided! I shall let it remain just as a past...
Learn from it and not repeat the same mistakes..
Well, maybe i shouldn't say it was a mistake..
A lifetime valuable and priceless experience sounds better :p

Moving on to a new begining, learning from the experiences,
not trying to outsmart the Director
but following closely to His guidance...
I believe the next "drama" will definitely be better...
The one that will have a happy end :)
And of course all the glory unto Him alone...

I know the process is not going to be as easy
or as fast as the previous one..
For I have to once again learn how to give away my trust...
I'm even trying to convince myself that true love does exist...
Slowly but surely... i know He will guide me and enable me...
His plan never fail and of course, i still expect the unexpected :)

"... and if I open my heart to you, I'm hoping you'll show me what to do.
And if you help me to start again, you know that I'll be there for you till the end!"

Victim of Worry

2010-03-19T14:16:00.010+08:00

Psalm 139:13-18

"You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body

and knit me together in my mother’s womb.

Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!

Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.

You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,

as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.

You saw me before I’ve born.

Every day of my life was recorded in your book.

Every moment was laid outbefore a single day had passed.

How precious are your thoughts about me, Oh God.

They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them.

They outnumber the grains of sand!

And when I wake up in the morning, You are still with me!"

The verse are just so amazingly beautiful..
No words can describe how loving and great is our Creator..

But knowing that fact, we somehow always still worry..
Too many things to mention....
Even at the smallest insignificant things, we tend to worry..
(Well, i am a worry victim too :P)

Worry seems to attack us right the second we open our eyes in the morning..
ans it clings on to us even until the moment we want to sleep again at night..
It's an ongoing thing.. endless chain..
Unless, we take a step and decide not to let worry overtake us..

God knows what will happen to us right from the very first moment we cried
till the day we take our last breath...
Every single day, every second in our life..
Every single person we are going to meet..
Every decision we are going to make..
Every places we step our feet into...
Every food we are going to eat...
what more... even every feelings and thoughts we have.. He knew it!!

Help me Lord, let me not be a victim of worry...
For i know Your promises are true :)
Even when You allow me to epxerience things i may not like,
I know I shall not worry.. cause You're always there with me..
to remind me that You are the one i should depend on..
and to make me closer and closer to You each day :)

It's about your commitment...

2010-03-10T01:45:00.002+08:00

Was having a discussion with my friend about an affair...
Why do affair happen? So here's my point of view :)

In an affair, usually 3 parties are involved (or even more?).
The one having an affair, the mistress and the victim hahaha..

The one having an affair is at fault in a way that he couldn't resist temptations, having an uncontrollable lust, couldn't hold his commitment or simply never feel satisfied. Thinking that with money they can do anything..

The mistress' fault is could be that she never think far, only want temporary satisfaction, money is all in her mind. She could be selfish too when she try to seduce someone. Or maybe she's just simply naive?

Though the last one is the victim of the affair, she could also be in fault also. Se may not do her part as a partner. She could be very demanding, never think about her partner's feeling. Or she don't know how to behave, always nagging and complaining. So though she's categorized as the victim, she could be the reason why affair happen too...

But personally, i feel that whether an affair could happen or not depends much on the mistress part...
She could make it happen or prevent it from happening...
If she didn't seduce or wouldn't accept the offer to be a mistress nothing will happen..

Not just blaming the mistress or anyone, still we have to boil down to the root of the cause...

In a relationship, within a couple themselves, there must be an openness and enough communication...
If you're not happy or satisfied over something, you should tell your partner... and try to find ways to solve them...
Never think that when you communicate the problem, the other party wouldn't want to listen or can never understand... cause its just your assumptions... never assume anything!!
Don't every try to escape the problem by finding a replacement or even keeping a backup... Cause by doing so, you're just making a new problem.. in fact a bigger one...

There must be trust and also understanding..
Nobody is perfect and as long as we still alive, we live day by day working towards perfection..
Though its true that you can never change someone's character but when you have decided to love them, you also try to accept them.. Cause by trying to accept them, we're slowly becoming a better someone ourself..

To love someone is not a decision that can be made just in a second..
I don't believe love at first sight.. for sight only means appearance and its also lust... Don't say love if its only based on the appearance.. As the saying goes beauty is skin deep, appearance will not last.. So, when what you love (the appearance) fades, can you still accept the person as who he/she is.. When the mask finally opened, are you ready to face the reality... Therefore whats matter most is the inner beauty... The true self of a person..
Though it may takes sometimes to know a person well, the time spent getting to know the person inside out, worth the lifetime you will have to spend together...

Lastly and importantly, is a matter of commitment!!
Not to mention marriage, when you go into a relationship there must also be based on a commitment..
But before making any commitment, you should at least know the person and willing to accept them..
And once you commit, you have to try to remain together..
If you want to go astray, think about how your impulse act will stain the promises, destroy the trust and hurt your partner...

So if you can't accept, don't commit! Better stay single!
That way, you can do anything you want.. you will hurt no one...
Don't be a greed and don't be a selfish!!
Learn to think before you make any decision..
Also learn to give and take.. Not a hard thing to do when you try :)

So... Moral of the story:
Treat everyone you meet the way you want to be treated
[Matthew 7:12]
Don't hurt if u don't want to be hurt..
Love and you will find love in return :)

Exam mood

2010-03-04T23:44:00.010+08:00

Sometimes i think...

How nice will it be if everyday we spend our times just to sing n pray like during saturday and sunday or even better convocation weeks...

Sometimes i think...

Why should we study so hard just for a piece of cert while actually our purpose of living is much greater than just a Degree or even a Phd...

Sometimes i think...

Why some people willing to burn midnight oil reading text books while they can't even spend 5 minutes reading the Bible...

Sometimes i think...

Why do we get so nervous and disappointed if we don't do well our exams but we never ever feel guilty if we never do what God has told us to do...

Why why and why..

So many why is popping out in my mind now...

How nice will it be if the world don't seek such earthly things and just sing and pray everyday hahah.. well that only happen in heaven though :p

Ok well, now that i have understood and see which is more eternal, i have to balance my time well :)

Teach me Lord not to get so consumed by exams but at the same time help me also not to use You as an excuse to escape from studying too :)

Help me to fullfill my obligations as a student, do well for Your glory and not sacrificing my precious quality time with You...

You're the greatest lecturer i can always consult to..

Not only knowledge will You give me, You will give me wisdom too..

Somehow when i listen to this song, it motivates me during exam..
hahaha.. So here it goes...

No more procastination..
Have to work hard for the last 3 months...
I believe i will win this battle for God is with me wherever i go :)

God never lie

2010-02-26T00:07:00.019+08:00

It has been a long and tiring week...
But it's also a very fulfilling week..

Prayer convocation was great..
Though i can't attend every service or seminars,
well i will miss the last session (which means i will miss hearing united we stand live hahaha) but from the few i attended to, they simply awesome and eye opening..
It was a great opportunity to be part of convocation...

People crowd the giftshop and with just 3 or 4 of us we were obviously shorthanded. So, it was quite tiring but at the same time glad that people are buying :)
"I believe that every labor is not in vain in the Lord" [1Cor 15:58].

Was touched by Him many times, i guess this year is just different..
Last year i was strugling, trying hard to feel His presence..
but now thank God that i can feel Him in many ways :)

He keep reminding me and assuring me of my vision..
Something He has put deep inside my heart..

And on the last service tonight (glad i managed to sneak in),the pracher was telling us how people used to underestimate him, doubt the existance of God but he persist, believe and not giving up.
And when he said "God never lies", I just can't hold back myself..
Felt as though it was God himself reminding me "I will never lie"
He is not phony.. He never break promises..
He is sincere.. He is forever faithful..

That simpe word, hit me hard on my conscious...
The fact that i always doubt myself means i'm also doubting Him..
But now i know its true, in fact its the truth, that He never lies..
I should doubt myself, Him and His Word NO MORE!!

Running towards His calling is set high in my priority now
Humbling myself before Him, for i am just nothing without Him..
Ready to be moulded, transformed and used for His greater work
Nothing is too impossible for him as long as i believe and willing..
We have to break away all the limitations we have set for ourself
"We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us"
[Phillipians 4:13]

But not only does that word hit me on my conscious,
that simple word moves right into a part of me..
A part so fragile that was once broken that i still try to mend it back
A part where i have built high, strong wall to protect it..
and that word just pierce through my heart..

I admit that since all that happened the past few years,
It is hard to me to trust again.. really hard..
Seems to me that all promises will not hold, sincerity will not last..

I feel that only God can be trusted and He will never break my heart
And that God alone is more than enough...
So, entering 2010 i decided to give realtionship a rest..
Put my once hasty heart to sleep..
Until i am again ready.. until God wakes my adam up :)

Enough of those times where i seek Him just to satisfy my flesh,
Its time that i give God something back, giving Him my time,
my heart, my thoughts and all that i am, the best i can offer to Him :)
Some people said it was a weird resolution for 2010 hahaha...
It seem funny to myself too and i also wonder whether its a wise decision i have made..
But today i was enlightened to be reminded that no matter what people said i should only listen to the voice of truth. Also that when the spirit of God is in us, even if we made wrong decision, God will turn that into his miracle :) Thank God for speaking to me through people...

Really a fulfiling day though..
I get the answer to my many doubt in unexpected ways..

So now while i will focus myself working in His field,
He will help me gather pieces of me that was once shattered.
God never lie, so i believe every of His promises will be fulfilled.
When kairos come, everything will be perfect and beautiful.
I am so sure in fact i am too sure that He will give me a great, full of promises and a blessed future as long as i put all my trust in Him, willing to sit still under His feet and never leave His presence and throne of glory all my life.

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness,

and all these things will be given to you as well" [Matthew 6:33]

"And we know that in all things God works for the good
of those who love him, who have been called
according to his purpose." [Romans 8:28]

A greater calling...

2010-02-20T21:04:00.011+08:00

What a great saturday...
He brought me back to my childhood times..

Each time i was asked what i wanted to be,
I would say "I want to be a teacher"
Years past and i began to feel that it was just a dream
I will never be a teacher.. So i deleted it away from my memory

Not until just now,
I finally realize that in fact i am a teacher now ...
A sunday school teacher :)
Though its not a teacher i used to picture myself to be..
But its a higher calling... a greater privilage...
I was speechless...

For now, of course i have another vision,
who i wanted myself to be years down the road
and again.. i think that its just a dream of mine..
but He reminded me not to underestimate His power

His way are higher than my way..
He already has it all in stored for me..
and He's waiting for me to be ready..
enlarging my capacity to receive great things from Him
not limiting what He can do in my life..

Like a clay i have to be ready to be moulded..
and the song "The Potter's Hand" flashed across :)

Every single word in the lyrics is so true..
And it plays over and over in my mind now...
Can never thank God enough..
all i know is i'm falling more and more in love with Him :)

Beautiful Lord, Wonderful Saviour
I know for sure, all of my days are held in your hands,
crafted into your perfect plan
You gently call me into your presence
guiding me by Your Holy Spirit
Teach me dear Lord to live all of my life through Your eyes

I'm captured by Your holy calling
Set me apart, I know you're drawing me to yourself
Lead me Lord I pray

Chorus:
Take me, Mould me, use me, fill me
I give my life to the Potter's hand
Call me, guide me, lead me, walk beside me
I give my life to the Potter's handI'm again expecting the unepected :)
For i believe 1Cor 2:9 is really true in my life...

Semarang..

2010-02-18T12:12:00.021+08:00

Had a sweet weekend escape to Semarang..

It was such a short but lovely time to spend CNY with family..

32 lovely people, young and old,

seating, talking and eating in a long table...

though it was squeezy, the feeling was beyond words

no phone allowed!!

no standing up 'till all is done!!

just the 32 of us!!

it was such a perfect chance to catch up

the only word to discribe those moments is

SIMPLY AWESOME ^^

We gathered as the fire was lit..
With excitement and anticipation..

The spark lights the darkness..
Showing every smile on each faces..

The night doesnt end just yet..
We stayed up late talking, laughing and taking pictures :p

Second day.. went to lawang sewu for an 'adventure'
It was a historical place previously used a s a train station
but during Japanese time it was used as a prison..
As the name mentioned 'Lawang Sewu' means 1000 doors

Lawang sewu

Many says, in fact, its really haunted..

But some people took their prewedding pictures there..
Well perhaps due to the unique architecture? i dont know..
I definitely wouldnt have mine taken there :)

One thing about Semarang is the food
so many nice food that i cant decide what to eat
for my breakfast, lunch or dinner :p

Though it was a short time there, really enjoy every second spent..
I'm alraedy missing everyone there...

To end, here presenting my grandfather...
He's so funny and loving..

Its his signature pose though noone taught him to do so :D

And not to forget my grandmother :)

Wish both of them good health and great happiness :)

Thank God for the time, the chance,
the laughter and the togetherness...
Bless them wherever they go..
In my prayers i will keep them close always
Thank God for the great family you given me :)

...God loves her even more

2010-02-07T22:16:00.011+08:00

Freewill that comes with a second chance...
Who in this earth can give us such privilage..
I have yet to know any, but thats what God provides us with
Because i am very very sure that our God is full of mercy and grace :)

Countless times i asked her to come every sunday
Countless excuses she came up with...
Procastination continues from weeks to months to years..

Though sometimes i gave up asking,
I believe God will never ever give up on her
He gave her freewill..
He wants her to know that He is not a bossy God
Letting her feel and experience what the world can give her
while waiting for her to willingly come to Him

However, series of unfortunate events happened to her lately
And for the first time ever, she asked me to pray for her..
So i said i will pray later at night..
but what she actually wanted is me to lay hands on her..
I just find it funny.. because its her who ask me..
But at the same time i was so thankful that she wants to be prayed for..

"What if nothing happen to her?"
"What is she will not recover?"
"God, are you sure You want me to pray for her?"
Suddenly my mind was filled with so many uncertainties and worries..
I felt so small, unworthy...
But when i prayed, God comforted and reassured me..
Telling me that i shall not let all those judgments in my mind stop me from blessing others and hindering His work that is going to be shown through me..
He wants to heal her...
He has been waiting for her to come back to Him..

So I believe this will be her turning point, her second chance
I am sure she will be fine, she will be alright
Though I love her, God loves her even more...
And no matter what happened to her,
She's still His precious daughter..

Neither i am holy nor sinless, yet He choose me
Neither i am perfect nor flawless, yet He loves me
I can never understand His plan for me
All i know is all because of His endless grace and mercy
and all i can say is thank you Jesus, You trust me :)
May all the praises and glory be unto You alone
[Romans 8:28-30]

Waiting

2010-02-05T22:41:00.004+08:00

Came across this interesting article.. pretty long but worth reading :)

Waiting By Candace Davidson

Have you ever thought of waiting as a gift from the Lord? I have not always known that, but I'm glad He has opened my eyes! It does not have to be a "trial" or a "struggle." If we are willing, it can be one of the sweetest times of our lives with our Savior.

I am waiting on God for a somewhat unusual gift - a partner! Not just any partner I could have probably obtained from a "match making" my friends and family have tried to do or picked someone out for myself. But, it would be terribly easy for me to make a bad choice on something so important and lasting in these vital areas if life.

So one day, I decided that I needed to give God control over every area of my life. I asked Him to choose a mate for me - the one He had actually designed from before the foundation of the world, the one that I could never be capable of finding by myself, apart from God's sovereign wisdom.

Marriage is such a holy thing, something that perfectly demonstrates Christ's love for us, His bride. When it comes time for me to walk down the aisle, I want to make sure the man I'm gazing lovingly at is the one God chose for me!

With that, I learned how to be patient. This is the most difficult part. It's hard to believe in what we cannot see. Through the years, the Lord has taught me several things about waiting and contentment and my once hasty heart has finally learned to "sleep" in God's will until He wakes my "Adam" up. If He, in His sovereignty chooses to never give me a mate, then in true God-given contentment I can say, "That's okay, because Jesus is more than enough, and my life is full and overflowing because of Him. I need nothing more to complete me."

God's holy, faultless word tells us in Isaiah 49:23, "They shall not be ashamed who wait for me." I believe this means that though our patience on the Lord's timing may seem foolish to those around us, and even to ourselves at times, God has assured us that we will not be put to shame by waiting on Him. What a relief! His Word also tells that those who "wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles." (Isaiah 40:31). When we wait upon the Lord, we find freedom as well as strength!

The Apostle Paul urges us to be content in every circumstance. This cannot be done except by the power of God at work in our lives. In our natural, carnal state, we are simply not capable of having peace and serenity when things in our life seem so uncertain. However, through Christ, we are able to have incomprehendable peace, peace that our human brains are not able to understand.

There are many things God wants to teach us during our "waiting period," no matter what it is we may be waiting on Him for. He wants our time in the "waiting room" to be a joyful experience. He wants us to "enjoy the scenery" and not dwell on the destination only. When we really understand that His way and timing is absolutely perfect, then we are able to solely, with no reserve, trust Him. And when we trust Him, even when we cannot see, we will be able to receive the true contentment that only Christ Jesus can offer us.

God has shown me four basic ways that I can embrace the gift of waiting and make the most of this season in my life.

1. Savor Every Moment

More than likely, once the object of our waiting has been brought to pass, changes will take place and life as we know it will be different. Anytime there is a change, we will lose privileges, even if they are replaced with new ones. Take this time that God has given you and enjoy it! Be well aware that you will not have these exact moments of your life back - ever again. This season will more than likely not last forever, so remember, no matter what you may be waiting on God for, the present days are only yours once. Do not be in such a hurry that you miss out on all the present blessings God is showering you with.

2. Do Not Wait Idly

Keep yourself busy for the Lord and your family. Ask Him to bring opportunities your way to minister, witness and bring glory to His name. Do things that will help prepare you for what you may be waiting on. Honor your father and mother and others in your life by doing special things for them. Practice submission and self-dying by putting others' needs before your own. Never look at your time of waiting as a "pity party," but serve others and receive the joy that comes with obedience! Stay busy for the glory of the Lord. Nothing you do for Him will ever be in vain!

3. Be a Broken Vessel

Humble yourself in the sight of the Lord and He will lift you up. Share your heart's deepest desires with Him. Cry unto Him, uncensored. Pour yourself out in prayer and worship. Become a piece of soft, pliable clay in your Maker's hands. Ask Him to reveal Himself to you in a way that you have not yet known. Be willing to allow your wishes to die, taking Christ as your All in All. Ask Him to reassure you that He is more than enough for you. He will. When we say, "Not my will, but Your will be done.", that is usually when He truly moves in our lives. He desires to have our utterly surrendered heart.

4. Work Double Time for the Lord

I feel that singleness is a wonderful time to give all our strength to the Lord through missions. Remember that missions do not have to be across the world's oceans. They can be across the street or even inside your home! This is such an ideal time to become a hard-working laborer in His plentiful vineyard of ripe souls.

Maybe you are waiting on a healing to take place in your body, a loved one to come to Jesus, or God to fill your womb with life - or maybe, like me, you are waiting for a partner, having placed it into the hands of the Master Match-Maker. I challenge you to walk by me in faith and watch God move in His perfect, beautiful time. This way, He gets all the glory. He is orchestrating it all. All we have to do is listen, trust, and obey.

Finally

2010-02-04T14:21:00.005+08:00

Finally i find the right time to update..

Was told to attend additional class and so i attended but all we do is nothing..
Can't escape as the teacher is sitting near the door..
The teacher said we can do anything so here i am :P

Well where should i start..
Firstly, thank God that i managed to get past 2009
It has been the most "thrilling" year with so many ups and downs..
Not to mention how many miles traveled.. sleep lost.. time waited..
After all, 3 years is quite a period of time isn't it??

All it take is just in a blink of an eye,
promises broken.. thrust lost.. and the worst is silence.. mind still wonders..
questions keep rinnging.. traces remain.. memories stay..

But well.. if God closes the door i have opened, it means that He will open anoter one that will lead me to a better place :)

well enough of that..

Since the exchange on 2008, the traveling spirit in me never dies..
Been wanting to travel more and more :)
but in 2009 only managed to go to hongkong, macau and bintan..
In 2010 must travel more :D

BCS retreat "Next Level" is definitely memorable..
meet new people, strengthen friendship and deeper relationship with God
amazed by His works and all He had done in my life..
thank Him for the opportunity given to go to bintan :)
looking forward 2010 bsc camp..

A sand castle built with Fitri, ko Nico, ko Paulus and Om Djohan
This marks the next level we are going to go to :)

Though i have yet to see any breaktrough in 2010,
I am sure that His promises will be fulfilled this year..

"1 Corinthians 2:9 - Expect the Unexpected" has been my favourite quite ever since
and since the begining of the year i see that quote displayed clearly around me...

Joel Osteen "It's Your Time"

a random box

Sooo... i feel the thrill to experience 2010 :)

Lately watced "The Holiday" recommended by Felicia..
hooked by that movie cause its so... me hahaha..
thank u fel, u know me very very well hahaha..

btw.. feliciaa... gua sedih ni u pindah ke melb...
nti gua ga bsa telp u kaya biasa hahaha u will miss my voice my friend :)
tenang fel kalo Tuhan berkenan june gua ke melb yahh hehehe...

Before He made us, He has already lined up for us the right moments,
the right opportunities, the right people and
He even has solutions to problems we haven't yet encounter...
So be still, for our future is safe in His mighty hand :)

back...

2010-01-26T03:52:00.002+08:00

After a very long break of updates, i feel the urge to write again..
Kind of lose touch on blogging..

2009 has past and now embark on a new begining..
believe that its going to be an exciting year..
too much to share abt 2009..

its getting late now will update again tomorrow :)

2 years

2009-03-26T21:35:00.005+08:00

All it takes is 2 more years....
but again.. will it guarantee anything?
Noone knows what may happen in these 2 years
Will there be someone new? or Will i still stuck on you?
only God knows...

I am not a risk taker.. I am not a brave person..
everyone knows that.. but for this...
i am ready to try..
i am willing to take the risk...
i am willing to make sacrifices..
i am not going to change my mind...
i will not be tempted...
but why... why cant you just take the risk...
well at least you should try...

i just dont understand..
well i know that you're someone who always go with the flow...
you let nature decide your fate..
i dont know who is right this time :)

everyone tell me that i should just act normally
but how can, i when i know that you're trying to draw a line...
well its hard.. really really hard..
cause somehow you've become so called an addiction to me
hahaha well a nicer way to say it is a habit hahah...

well i dunno i am stubborn or do i have high perseverance
but, once again my FAITH will not dim..

Thank God that You gave me the courage to go through these
I know that "All things will work for good for those who love You
and who are called according to ypur purpose (Romans 8:28)"

but again... i will not force anything to happen..
if anything should happen along the way, i will still let Thy will be done :)
cause...
His will is better than my plan and His way is brighter than my way

Jason Mraz song -Lucky- really inspires me HAHAHA
that what i will sing when i passed that 2 years hahaha...

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again

I miss my friends now... wish i can laugh like nothing happened...
but eleanor notes really made me glad...
"If He brings you to something, He will bring you through it..."
thank u burgerrrrrr :)

PUSH

2009-03-17T17:35:00.002+08:00

PUSH- Pray Until Something Happens

I keep praying but there are 2 things that turn out
It goes according to my way and the other one is... you know...

I know i should not give up.. but sometimes maybe giving up is the best way...
Sometimes you felt that you lost hope.. but you know you should not...
I do feel that if u give up now, all the things that u have done in the past will go to waste
But is it all intimidation??? what should i do now??

2009-03-05T13:33:00.004+08:00

Have you ever feel that you're alive yet you don't think you are...

Life is just about getting up to eat,
watch some show and get back to sleep again...
and the days just past like that...

You sleep to escape things... You sleep to stop thinking...

Everyone wonders what happens to you... But you yourself dont know...

Actually nothing really happens..
Just that your mind is travelling beyond times..
Thinking too much of what is happening on the other side of the world
it's just your thinking... NOTHING is happening out there...

You need times to be by yourselves, but you are afraid to be alone...
You dont want to worry others around you...
You know they care about you...
but no matter what they do, it doesnt seem to please you..

You completely forget how to get alive again..
You forget who are you.. How you used to be...
You are speechless.. dont know what to say
You dont know what you're feeling...
Maybe you know.. just that you dare not face the reality..

You laugh but is your heart happy?
You cry but that doest shed your trouble away
You wish you were somewhere else but still you wont feel peace
You gave advices to your friends but why cant you advice yourself...

Sometimes you wonder maybe its better to be a bad girl
To be out in a wild... doing all things just to keep your mind occupied..
but you know thats not what you want...

Father, hear my cry...

You know this is not easyfor me Lord..

I've been through it the first time..

Now, i'm sure i can pass this again..

Your hand is never too short to help me Lord

Help me to get alive, show me what i should do

Help me to control my thoughts, lead me not into temptations

Lead me to your plan, let Your will be done

Be with me and never let me go..

Amen

In Indonesia now :)

2009-03-02T18:42:00.003+08:00

Happy to be homeee :)

But thing are so unexpected here...
its like being blindfolded on a roller coaster ride..
i dont know whether i'm up or down...
i dont know when is the next turn..
i dont know whether it's going up..
or i'm going to be thrown down..
i wish i can just open my eyes to see the full ride..

it's partially my own fault..
noone ask me to take the ride...
everyone knows i'm afraid of the game...
but why i still take the challenge...

ony God knows why...

now that i'm in it..
noone can get me out..
dont ask me to jump down...
i only hope i can open my eyes..
so i can prepare my heart...

It started on great.. i believe it will also end great :)

Happy yet Sad....

2009-02-27T22:58:00.003+08:00

I am so happy that exam is finally over... 5 consecutive days of exam is definitely brain draining..
It also mark the end of poly life...

Tomorrow i will be departing to indonesia... wuaaaa i am so exciteddd 2 full months there..
though i don't know what to do there, i believe God has planned great things there :)

Met up with Jerald and Eleanor for dinner and movie...
It was a black and yellow night (even jerald's plastic bag is yellow) hahaha..
Thanks guys for the dinner and movie :) Meet up again when i came back ya...
provided Jerald has not go for ns yet...

Wanted to meet angie and jingting but it's all cancelled...
But its ok... we will meet when i came back ya :)
Brother bear... i'll miss u... All the best for SIM ok dont skip class that often ok :p

I am so sad that i have to say good bye to my friends...
3 years of togetherness definitely left me with sweet memories...
Thank you all for what had happened... Cant control my tears now...
Especially when i read angie sms... thanks all :)

have to start packing now... see u guys...
take care ok God Bless :)

NYP last day

2009-02-16T11:44:00.002+08:00

3 years have passed... 3 years of projects and exams...
other than that?? hm... let me try to remember one by one...

- orientation was ok but kind of waste time hahah and there, i met Farah.. she's the first friend i had in NYP
- when i first met angie the first thing i asked was, "are you from China?" ahhaha but she's not
- econs presentation "do u have any facts to support your answer?" does that ring a bell...
- north canteen fried fish banmian that already closed down hahah that's the best food in NYP
- is it oral com or effective writting presentation where we did the M-burger? and we took alex picts with burger ahahha...
- having skit with yongxian, alex and jingting will always ended up funny without fail cause there will be some impromptu acts that they added in that makes the skit even more funny :)
- angie's reciting the whole law section during business law presentation
- we sold jt share in FSRC and she was very very mad at me
- OSEP!!! that was the best.. altough it's only for 4 months. thank God that i made 2 new best friend.. Eleanor and Jearld :)
- yong tau hu, tomyum banmian hahhaha
- crm presentation where i become a television muahahaha
- queueing at printing shop
- daily sms angie before class "angie, where r u?"
- waking jingting up and ended up she syill not coming to class HAHAHHA
- taping minimum TWO cards before lecture (haha JT card is always with me hahah)
- browsing for new rarecards with jingting

i cant think for more as for now....
but although not much memories i can remember but some that i can distinctly remember are those i will always remember forever :)

all the best to all my friends, do keep in touch always ya....
it takes two hands to clap, it takes two people to keep the friendship going :)

9 more days to the last day of exam... cant wait for it to be over...
12 more days to be back indonesia... cant wait to leave singapore hahhaha

previously case closed matter is now brought back again
PERFECT!!! my feelings is once again thrown up and down...
i have no idea what will happen this time... hope it will ended up fine :)

2009

2009-01-22T01:16:00.006+08:00

Happy new year everyone...
For the old has gone and the new has come (2 Corinthians 5:17)

2008 was a great year.. A lot of things happened that the year past so fast..
new friends, best friend, travel around Europe, IPP, etc.. what else can i ask for
Thank God for all that happened :)

Here are some photos taken last year..

2008 Asian Conference

Christmas exchange present.. Mine is from Jing Ting...

Reversible head lamp with alarm clock

Dinner at CityHall Thai Express after tiring AIHF paper hahaha...

Went back to Indonesia during 2 weeks break... So happy and excited :)

The moment i have been waiting for since 2007 has finally come..
But now things have changed..
i am still me but you are no longer you, but that doesn't change how i feel for you..
ok enough of that.. i am moving on :)

On the way from church..
Nice door gift.. a delicious biscuit

Did nothing much in indo this time.. not much shopping.. accompanying my grandparents at home.. Helped in Christmas decoration it was so fun..

What makes this Christmas memorable is the fact that i went for a mission by giving food to the poor people and kids on the street.. well, there are a lot of them in indonesia..
Seeing their happy and grateful face upon receiving the food realy touches my heart.. we dont know when did they had their last meal.. Hope that i can do that more often..
Thank God that we can all still have so much food everyday :)

DM Christmas celebration 2008

"What Gift Can Make God Joy"

25 Dec 2008

Christmas Service at SCCC

During the sermon, the message is that 2009 is a year of creative miracle and healing..
the key to that is just BELIEVE.. With God, all things are possible :)

Was recommended to read this book by my cousin.. was reluctant at first cause its quite thick.. but gave in in the end and I'm hooked to it.. Now I'm recommending it to everyone :)
It's a really nice book.. learn a lot form this book..
Bought few cooking book and tried one of the recipe...

I DID IT!!!
i successfully made an edible brownie hahaha...

Back to Singapore and began my counting down to the end of school to motivate myself..
Cant wait to graduate and I'm FREE!!!! as at today.. left 35 more days..
and in these 35 days there will be 4 projects submission, 3 presentations and 5 final exam!!
God, bless me hope that i will get through all these well and get good results :)

I have been having cravings for ban mian especially dry ban mian hahha...
all thanks to Eleanor Ang Pei Shi HAHAHAHA..
and oh ya... MS. Ang Pei Shi Welcome to the world of 20s hahahha...

Happy that school will soon end but kind of sad as i have to part with my friends..
especially those few that I'm always together with since year 1...
making a wake up call and leaving 20+ missed calls.. eating yong tau hu and tom yum ban mian..
tapping attendance.. drawing lots for projects.. rushing last minute projects.. skits and presentations.. copying down tutorial answers.. printing exam papers..
thanks for the friendship and memories :)

hope that the friendship will not be left behind in NYP but will always be carried in our hearts as we move on in our life... that makes us not just poly friends but true friends :)
- ok when jt read this she'll ask me to stop my mushy word, but that not mushy that's heart to heart talk hahaha -

Finally presented HRM.. It was funny but that last skit is going to be memorable haha..
"Ba Wang" "Olypic torchlight" "TV" "CANON video camera" "microphone" and definitely MUAHAHAHAHAHA

Group 4
syidah, eunice, ms. diana tan, jingting, mariana, angie, guojie

thats all for now... i'm supposed to be sleeping or doing project but here i am blogging hahahha...

i dont need many friends
all i need is just few true friends
thank God for friends :)

a new beginning =)

2008-11-17T20:16:00.002+08:00

PHEW.... finally its over.. a mental burden is off my head..
the thing that has been bothering me since September 07 is finally solved
it doesn't end like what i wanted but it's His plan.. so it is better this way "let Thy will be done"
thanks all for the advice and prayer.. your ear can have peace now that you all will not have to listen to my same old story hahaha...

Sunday school teacher camp (26-28 Oct) "I am Yours" was AWESOME!!!!
something i can never forget... thanks Kak Surjadi, Om Djohan and Tante Betie..
learn alot during these 3 days.. get new fire and will keep it burning 'till He came again...
so everyone, lets keep our Faith 'till the end!! KIDS ARMY FOR JESUS! Sir yes Sir :)

Finished my internship.. Those 10 weeks spent there was nothing spectacular but neither was it unremarkable.. It allows me to take home valuable experiences and insights.. Thanks again to Hiba and Marcelle.. Will be glad if we could work again together one day :)

End of internships means that it's the begining of another semester.. my last semester in NYP..
Have to work doubly hard this semester to compensate what had happened during last semester.. the modules sounds difficult but it's not that bad after all.. just that the schedule was quite bad.. with amost everyday finish at 6pm...

As nothing is bothering me now.. i'm very motivated to study hahaha!!!

Kind of decided with what to do after graduation...
SIM UOL - Economics and finance is my first choice.. still praying over it though..

Lately was occupied with UNO Family activities...
Playing UNO, hanging out and having fun... thats all i did these past 2 weeks..
have to get back on track and start studying.. projects and ICAs are already lining up...

Been going out with Eleanor quite afew times... talking nonsense on skype and phones haha..
Looking forward MARCH 09!!!! just cant wait for it to happen hahaha...
Lets get ready.. pray over it and dont change plan ok.. my travel partnerS hahhahaha....

Listya... kapan u ke sini??? gua dah lama ngak jalan bareng u cari2 sendal hahahhaa
Felicia... kapan dikau free, mari kita bertemu di Pasta de Waraku pren...

thank God it's over... i know You have prepared a better things for me =)

2008-10-14T19:35:00.003+08:00

are we in love? or just friends? is this my beginning or is this the end... (when will i see you again)

at times I think we're drifters still searching for a friend
a brother or a sister but then the passion flares again...
(sometimes when we touch)

lately, those two songs kept playing in my mind..
well those two are not a happy song though..
it well described what i'm thinking and feeling now a days...

IPP was good but kind of bored when i have nothing to do..
in line with their tag line, HSBC is a really great place to work.. no doubt..

met up with sarah, freda and felicia... TCC has many nice drinks thatit took me sometimes to decide..
looking forward meeting einsny and felicia at our favourite HOOTERS hahha..

to distract myself from brain and heart draining thoughts, i plan what should i do after graduation.. study, study and study again!!! getting a degree in 1 year is what i'm looking for..
study in UK?? i wanted to.. but ther are factors i have to consider as it's a big step to go UK
eleanor.. come on.. let's go together!!
all i can do now is pray that God will show me His way..

can't wait for Sunday School Retreat!! expecting great things on that camp. Again... i'm EXPECTING THE UNEXPECTED!!!

2008-09-03T20:27:00.004+08:00

time flies... as i grow older it seems that time really past faster than ever...
2008 is actually coming to an end in about 3 more months...
and i couldn't remember how the days past by.. all i know is that it was a great year!!!
too many things happened and it all happened too fast for me to realize it...

carefree... that's how we used to be...
this was taken in 2003...

AND NOW... 5 years down...

introducing a new member in our family...
28-08-2008, Danielle Audriana Heru...

What a lovely NIECE i have ^^

We shall see what will happen in the next 5 years...
a successful career woman, an ideal wife and a great mum... that's ME!!! hahhaha
it will be perfect if i on top of that i were to stay in Indonesia... *AMEN*

anyway, let's God decide... His plan for me is far greater that what i ever imagined...
Expect the unexpected!!
and talking about it.. it brought me to answering GH request on "expect the unexpected"
well.. to me it simply means that...
u have your expectations but expect more than that!!! u will never know how much more God has foe you..so, just expect the unexpected... do you get it??
hahhaa it's up to every individuals how to understand that sentence...

weird...
dental shop name... a name written on a birthday card by strangers on the bus...
it's your name... i just don't understand.. the same things used to happen sometimes ago...
but why again??? is it the sign from my prayer?? or it's all just pure coincidence??

2008-08-29T00:35:00.003+08:00

working is so much fun!!!!! Thank God that i get to thet place..

First, its near my home. I can get there easily by bus in about 30 minutes and the bus stop is sooo near =) So, i usually get up at 6.30 get ready and prepare everything before i left at 7.30. I have no choice but to take the 7.30 bus because if i were to take the bus after that i will be late as the traffick is very bad at that time and it will take me almost 1 hour to reach. So i would rather be early... Waking up that early is a big big challenge to me hahha... since the begining of this year, it seems that i discover the pleasure of sleeping and like to sleep so much haha..

Next, people there are nice.. Especially my supervisor...
Talking about my supervisor, she originally from NY and she's under international management programme (if i didn't remember it wrongly). So, she'll have to move after every 18 months.. She's posted to singapore for the time being and will be posted to Vancouver in November.. It's so cool.. I also want those kind of job!! i can get to go different countries..

Jing ting is also working in a same place as me.... We're under different department though... I'm offshore banking while she's onshore hahah... We usually meet for lunch and shop after work hahha... We cant resist the temptation to shop after work since we're already in town where all the shopping centres are...

Well i do really really like the way of life i'm doing now... i cant wait to graduate and have a permanent job..
Although it's tiring as i have to always wake up early even in weekends as i will have to go to church in the morning on satturday and sunday and no more afternoon naps for me hahha... it seems that life is more meaningful..
Just that i have to plan my time carefully and not wasting time doing nothing...
This way i can eliminate my bad habit of 'thinking too much' that results to nothing but stress!!!

I still have many things to say but i have to sleep real soon and not sacrificing my limited sleeping hours anymore..

thank God, i shall remain strong, optimistic and let not my faith wither =)

BACK!!!

2008-08-20T12:20:00.004+08:00

Almost 3 months has past since i last blog...

Hectic school dreads me from blogging.. so much happened and it all happened so fast that now i don't really know what to blog =p

Maybe i should start with my cousin wedding which was on 21/06/08
It was a memorable ones.. so happy that we all can gather, but sad to say.. ismy jie and siblings could not attend... or else it will be a real perfect gathering for all cousins.. Being the bridesmaid for that day was tiring yet i enjoy every second of it.. and that makes me feel like getting married soon too hahaha...

11/11/2011 seems like a great date to get married hahaha... that's just my wishful thinking.. but NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE =) shall see...

Next is bible camp!! it was such a great event... seeing how God works on each kids it's just beyond words...

Meet up with felicia and dine at Pasta de waraku...

Valerie will be going to NY so meet up with sec school friends and celebrate Pamela and Valerie birthday...

Anyway.. i will become 'tante' real soon hahaha... ci ding2 will give birth next month.. and fortunately, ichiro will be sent to indonesia.. so i can go to 2nd floor and play with the baby =)

Lastly will be poly life!! hm... i don't know what's wrong with me this semester.. seems like i'm really off track.. i just can't focus on what i'm doing and that is clearly reflected on my ICA marks.. is missing the first 3 weeks of school the reason why?? (jingting has been asking me to stop using that as an excuse hahaha) well.. i think the main reason is i just can't focus!! that's it... but glad that during exam time i can focus better.. thank God =)

Done with all the struggle in semester 1.. moving on and we'll see how things go in semester 2..

Happy that finally i will meet ismy jie again after 8 months hahaha... lest shop, shop and shop!!!

I think that was all the highlights for the past 3 months hahaha...

Now looking forward for.....

25/08 to 31/10 i will be having IPP and i'm really excited.. glad that me and jingting is working in the same place.. its just that we'll be on different department... pray that everything will be good...

Can't wait for ci sen to come to singapore for lebaran holiday... i miss her!!! well if i can go back to Indo will be even better hahah.... and talking about Indonesia, i would use this chance to wish INDONESIA HAPPY 63th BIRTHDAY!!! God, bless my country.. no matter what the world may think and say about Indonesia, i will still love her... i am proud of my nation =)

hati kecilku masih merindukanmu... tapi aku tau ini bukan jalanku...
Tuhan punya rencana yang lebih indah buat masa depanku...
biar waktu membantu aku untuk melupakanmu..
... and i thank God that i have known you =)

STRESS mode ON!!

2008-05-29T12:54:00.005+08:00

It has already been exactly 10 days since i came back from Finland..
Life here was so much more stressful!!

Every morning when i wake up i got a strange feeling in me.. i dont know why??
I feel so stressed and afraid to face the day..
Cathing up 3 weeks of school work is not that easy.. afterall i'm already in year 3 hahaha.. i felt sooooo lost!! i dont know what is going on..
Thanks to angie, jingting and guojie for lending me their books and gave me some enlightenment =) in this 2 weeks have to do so many things..

Projects and ICAs are unavoidable...
26 May - GSO ICA
27 May - FAA ICA
2 June - CRM ICA submission
4 June - Investment ICA
5 June - CMFI ICA
6 June - Entrepreneur ICA and CRM ICA2 submission

Last sunday went to church and sunday school..the first service i had in 2008 hahaha... felt God's presence so strong during sunday school.. He really works with children now a days =)
It was great!! met all those people i missed and FA was fun too..

Will be going back to my dearest country Indonesia on 7 June!!
Can't wait to go! somemore, Eleanor will be going with me! I'm excited =)
As for now has to really study and buck up..

God, give me the strength to do all these.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthen me (Philipians 4:6)

Time to say good bye...

2008-05-18T00:55:00.002+08:00

Time past really fast...
Done with all the school work, fun and traveling and now it's time to say goodbye to Lappeenranta, Finland... It was a mixed feeling of happy and sad...

Happy that i will meet all the people i want to meet yet sad to leave here...

At first, i was in doubt whether to go for OSEP or not..
Furthermore it's Finland, a place i never heard of.
It's a real unknown place for me..all i know is that it's going to be very cold here =)
But after going through all these 4 and 1/2 months, i realized that to come here was not a mistake. In fact it was quite hard for me to leave here now... If only all the people that i want to be with is here with me and there's at least an English service church here.. Here is a great place to live in.

Although this year was the warmest winter that ever happened in Finland, i think it's good enough that at least i get to experience snow and enduring the coldest temperature of about -13 degrees when i was in Lapland.
Now, spring has come.. the scenery is sooooo beautiful.. the blue sky and the clouds.. grass and colorful flowers began to grow... The view of the harbor from the hill.. It was really amazing!!!
It reminds me of the song "What a wonderful world" Really BEAUTIFUL!!! I'm in love with it.. It's the best scenery i ever seen and it really captured my heart!!! God, how amazing is Your creation..

School was good. Flexible timing, nice teachers and importantly, we managed to pass all the modules =) Not to forget the cheap and nice canteen food..

The small but cozy apartment, food that i have been eating all these while (nauta, spaghetti, porsan, honey chicken, baked chicken, meat ball, burger meat, breakfast bread, eggs, potatoes, carrots, cabbages, lettuce, sausages, chocolates, yogurt, grapes, banana, pizza, cinnamon cakes and cookies, carelian pie, altun kebab, etc.) i will miss it all...

The path to the school, S Market, Prisma, KKK Market, Seppala, H&M, Antila, Alko, Only, Jack Jones, Handelsbanken i will remember them all...

Dragging heavy luggages in the middle of the night, cooking, eating, washing dishes, doing laundry, walking to school, shopping, buying groceries, playing cards, gossiping, going to party, planning for trips, traveling, taking photos, laughing, having fun, watching online movies,going to sauna, studying for exam, rushing for assignments are unforgettable times spent together...

Minna and her daughter, Rebecca and her husband, Arthur and his wife and all the people in the bible study.. Thanks for the great session we had every Wednesday evening =)
Hanna, Marika, Vera, Emilia, Petri, Evgenia, Nikolay, Ivan, Yan, Yanna, Tatiana, Anna, Jens, Kirsten, Ingrid, Bastian, Una, Andris, Varun, Medeya, Elena, David, Richi, and all other friends, glad knowing all of you... Julia, Yan, Liza, Daniela and Martina, i'll never forget our trip to Russia and our playing card session =) Dearest flatmate, Bella.. we'll meet again one day in Shanghai ok.. Hope you'll get a good job ^^
To everyone it has been great to know and meet all of you.. Hope that we'll meet again one day..

Tiring yet intriguing and memorable trip to Helsinki, Tampere, Bremen, Paris, Barcelona, Venice, Rome, Lapland, Russia, Estonia, Stockholm, Oslo and Copenhagen. Chinese new year party activities, outdoor day to Lumaki, house parties, amazing race and Vapu Brunch in the fortress was exciting.

Friendship that was built is definitely something precious that i get here.. Eleanor!!! I'm going to miss all the crazy times we had together.. Making funny faces, waking together, laughing like nobody business, doing silly things, trying clothes together in one fitting room, taking pictures, pinching your cheek, punching your jelly2 hahaha, searching for mole on your face, eating yogurt and many other things we have done together... I really thank God that He allows me to meet and know you here =) Looking forward for you going to Jakarta!!!
Jerald, i'll remember our future discussion times and congrats on your new future endeavor, my turn to find a future will come soon =) and thanks for the cheese burger!!
Gillian, we will meet again in class for the next 2 semester..
Andy, thanks for planning on some trip..
Well, we'll definitely meet each other again in school. Anyway take care all =)

It's the camaraderie and Finland itself that i'll never forget.. So peaceful, fresh and carefree..
If God allows, i will come here again one day. Till then see you Lappeenranta =)

Thank God for the great plan You have had for me in the past 4 and 1/2 months.
It was a wonderful and enriching experience.. I believe You had a better and greater plan for me in the Future. Love You God <3

Now that i's time to be back to Singapore..
School works and exam will welcome me as soon as i get back..
But i will not be long till semester holiday which begin on 7 June..
Looking forward to go back Indonesia!!! I miss Indonesia sooo muchhhhh...
Glad that Eleanor will be going with me... Hope that everything is fine and she can go to Jakarta.

Flight tomorrow will be on 18 May at 17.55 and arrive in Singapore on 19 May 17.15.
Pray that the flight will be smooth and we'll arrive safe and sound =)
Also, hope that i'll have the strength to carry my luggage tomorrow and it will not be overweight hahaha...

God, all i want is to be closer to You and
let You be the only center of my focus.
Surrender my all to You.. cause when i'm weak You are strong =)

I'm 20!!!

2008-05-07T06:47:00.005+08:00

1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1=20
yeay!!! i'm finally 20!!!

Thank you God for Your blessings all these years and thank You for another year...
My hopes on my b'day this year: closer to God and love Him more, happiness, will be wiser, success in everything i do and finally to meet the right one hahahaha....

Thank you everyone for the wishes.. some friends i didn't expect to remember did sms and wished me happy birthday =) Get phone calls from family and friends.. really thanks a lot..
Well this year is indeed a special year.. For the first time i'm celebrating it without my family.. But it was a great and unforgettable one..

So, here is the cake.. as usual i always wanted my cake to have many candles on it...
And this year will be 20 candles =) Really happy that i'm now 20 hahaha...

My 20th Birthday Cake

with the cake, making wishes, blowing the candles and cutting the cake =)

The cake was ok although it was quite soft.. German girls came over to exchange photos that we took during our trip to Russia (talking about it, i will blog about Russia trip some other day) so they stayed and we celebrate my b'day together.. Thank you Daniela and Martina for the Vodka.. and thank you Eleanor for the cookie contributions =p

After that we played card games.. it was so much fun!!! we played heart attack and some card naming games (i don't know what is the name of the game.. it was introduced by Jerald)..
i think that is a great game especially if played by people from different countries cause with that we can learn some basic languages... and today, through that game i learn few Finnish and German sentences... and the others get to learn some Chinese and Indonesian sentences..

Overall it was a great day... but it's quite a pity that i have to bid farewell to them.. I hate the feeling to say goodbye, but that's life.. there's a time to meet and there's a time to part.. as tomorrow we will be traveling again, we will not see Bella as she will be going back to China on 9 May.. Take care everyone =) hope that we will meet again someday, somewhere, sometimes...
It has been a great pleasure to know all of youu...

a new chapter in life, a new beginning for everything..
everything will be great.. let Thy will be done..
expect the unexpected =)

Forest Trip

2008-04-30T05:01:00.005+08:00

On Sunday, 27 April we went for a trip to the forest organized by the school in Luumaki..

We all meet outside the school and since only about 16 people going, we took the mini bus..

Before we go to the forest, we stopped by a supermarket to get some food for the campfire..
So we decided to share and buy some sausages..

Once we arrived, we walked through the forest and there are many pinecone on the ground.. Bella said that it looks like 'dog shit' hahaha.. but we still took photo with it =)

Then we walked to the bunkers, it was cold and really dark inside that i banged on the wall.. it was painful as the wall is made up of steel hahaha..

Inside the bunkers with Martina, a German girl

After we walked through the forest, we started to begin cooking as we were quite hungry by then. The man in red bellow is our tour guide for today. He explained to us the story behind the forests and bunkers on it was used during the world war 2.

Setting up the fire for cooking and boiling water at the same time

Back to nature.. We used wooden sticks to cook =p

thank God and all the soldiers that we are now living together in peace..

cooking time; Russian, Taiwanese, Singaporean and Indonesian =)

The next activity is climbing down the cliff.. As you can see the cliff is so high it's about 17metres high.. It's definitely not me who's on the picture =p It's Jens. I wouldn't dare to do such things. Its too extreme for me..

The last activity arranged is archering.. It was quite fun but as we did not have much time left i only tried for a while..

There is also a toilet in the middle of the forest.. and its really back-to-nature type of toilet. The wooden house are just meant for a cover.. inside there is just a platform for us to squat and pee.. there is no flush at all.. and by doing so, we're can help to fertilize the forest =)

Well, that's all for that day.. it was a really fun and another new experience for me =)

School has already started back in Singapore!! which means i will miss 3 weeks of lesson..
Missing 3 weeks of lesson in Singapore means really a lot to catch up with..
Hope that everything will go fine and i manage to catch up when i'm back..
So, i'm now counting on Jing Ting, Angie and my other friends to keep me updated with what is going on.. Really really thank you guys =)

maybe it's time...
persist to move on and not looking back again
when one door is closed there is another one that God will open =)

finally

2008-04-25T18:08:00.003+08:00

This week was the end of exam!!!! Glad that finally it's over...
Logistic exam was ok although when we studied we almost gave up haha... but glad we took the exam cause we did well =) Today was Alliance & Partnership exam.. Hope will do well also =)

This week is also the last week for bible study meeting.. Will definitely miss the session and people.. Thanks to Minna for driving us to and fro every week...
To pastor Rebecca and her husband as well as the Finnish missionary pastors, thanks alot for the Words you all have shared.. although it was a very short time, i learn quite a number of things =)

So here's the group photos taken

Finnish missionary couple, Rebecca husband and her,

Gillian, Me, Eleanor and Kunle (from left)

With Minna and her baby, Aino

Aino... She's a pretty and very cute baby =)

It will be great that one day we can meet again... Hope we can at least keep in contact...

These few days been listening to Joyce Meyer sermon and it was great!!!

It reminds me that nothing in this world will last but God's love will never change..
and the hardest thing is that "we shall NOT live by what we FEEL but we shall live by FAITH in the TRUTH!!" God, lead me with Your Holy Spirit so that i can live that way =)

Going back to Singapore soon.. it was kind of a mixed feelings..
On one hand i'm very happy to meet my cousins, friends and going to church again..
but going back means stressful school again hahaha and no more traveling =p
well i guess life must go on.. there are more in life than just having fun =)

Missing ci liang2.. wants to eat, go shopping and being crazy with her.. but will only see her in October after she come back from her exchange...
Misses my other cousins, ci hilda and ci vera... Miss Felicia, Jing ting and others too...

Really thank God for the wonderful family and friends i have..
i know they really care for me.. sorry if i make u all fed up by my silliness and stubbornness.. but again, thanks for the listening ears and advices (don't worry u're not wasting saliva =p)

although i still think of u every now and then
finally i'm trying to letting u go..
what may happen, i let God be in charge =)

tallinn, estonia

2008-04-16T04:21:00.009+08:00

On 13 April we went to Tallinn, Estonia by cruise.. There will be about 24 people going.. We will be back on 14 April at night..

So we first took bus to Helsinki (about 4 hours) then we board the cruise.. the cruise will start to go at 9pm.. Once we get in, we put in our luggage and went to eat dinner...
At the restaurant, we can felt that the cruise is moving and i felt quite giddy... so we quickly finished our dinner and went back to our room..

Our room =)

When we get back, we were invited for a mini party at the Bulgarian girls room... Only the 7 of us hahaha.. but when the ship reached Tallinn at about 12 midnight, Varun went out to meet his friends.. so we continued for a while before we went back to sleep..

In the morning we have to wake up quite early cause we have to get down in Tallinn by 7am..

So here's some photos...

the town hall

look at the sky...

the best cafe in 2007

with Elena, one of the Bulgarian girls =)

Viru gates

Cathedral of Aleksander Nevski

YEAY!!!

Ok, well Tallinn is small and nice.. quiet and peaceful =)
We returned to the terminal at about 3.30 and while waiting for the ship to open at 4.30 we slept for a while.. cause we were really tired + lack of sleep hahaha...
On board we slept again until 7 when we finally arrived back to Helsinki..
There, we took the bus back again.. fortunately this time is only for 3 hours.. cause i'm very tired and still giddy hahaha...

Ok now back to life!! projects, assignments, presentations and tests are waiting for us hahaha... 10 more days of stress then we will be FREE!!!! can't wait until 25 April...
God help me in my exams, presentations and assignments..
wish me luck, hope i will do well =)

i really miss you.. but what can i do??
all i can do is just to pray that God will open the way..
still believing that something great is going to happen..
with faith, i expect the unexpected =)

amazing race!!

2008-04-16T02:56:00.006+08:00

Spring is here... in love with the blue sky.. its soooo beautiful.. it gives you a peaceful feeling looking at the vast blue sky.. how amazing is God's creation =)

beautiful sky in the evening

Now, the snow is gone.. and the spring is here.. it gets bright quite early and gets dark quite late at about 8 pm it was still quite bright..

really in love with the colour of the sky..

its taken at about 6.00 am

saying good bye to snow and welcoming the spring

On 9th April, our school is organizing something like amazing race around the town.. when we woke up in the morning, it was snowing.. it was a very sudden heavy snow after about 1 week of spring.. we were surprised but the race will still be on =)

We met in school at about 2.45pm and the race begin at about 3.. We were supposed to go to 8 pitch stop and complete a task given.. we can also bribe the people at the pitch stop with beers to get additional points.. so we begin the race by buying 2 carton of beers (about 24 cans)...

The first stop was at pub 55 where we were supposed to answer 10 questions.. There we gave them 2 cans of beers as bribe =p The next one is at the water tower.. we were given 5 words and supposed to act on it.. and we again bribed them with 2 beers... Next we have to play billiards but it was crowded so we move on to the 4th stop.. and it was at the field..

We had to drink some beers then bend down our head and turn round and round a pole for 10 times then run around the trees and come back... When we turned at the pole it was so giddy that all of us fell down once we turn around the pole hahaha.. without fail we also bribed them =p

pitch stop in charge..

Varun round and round the pole

couldn't balance to run round the trees

Bella falling down...

Next stop we went to another pub and the task there is to sing hahaha.. we choose the song My Heart Will Go On" it was a very old song and we choose that song because that's the only song that all of us can remember hahaha... it was quite fun.. we were all shouting as loud as we can so that we will get more points =)

After which, we went back to the 3rd stop where we have to play billiards.. as most of us don't really know how to play, we took quite sometimes to clear hahaha... There we took one group photo =)

Our team "HUOPATEHTAANKATU"
from the left - Varun, Me, Eleanor, Isabel, Gillian and Jerald

Since the next stop over is very far, we decided to take Varun's car and it can only accommodate 4 people so only Varun, me, Eleanor and Gillian go while Jerald and Bella will go to the last stop to wait for us there..

The task at the next stop was simple, we just need to throw a match stick as far as we can despite the strong wind blowing... next task, we have to run around with a raw egg inside our mouth and we couldn't break it and we complete it well.. there, we gave the people 2 cans of beer.. After which, we went straight to the last stop but Jerald and Bella was not there and when we called they said they're already home.. hahaha expected!!

The last task we had to dress up like crazy and cat walked at the stage.. but the girl at the stop was very drunk i guess.. all the props was in a mess.. so we just grab and dress each other hahaha...

crazy stunts at the last stop over

Ok finally it's over.. we complete everything at about 7.30pm and went back to school to gather.. but not all was there yet.. after we waited for sometimes we decided to go home cause they said that most of the people are already too drunk hahaha...

At the end of everything, we still had lots of left over beers... and now, the beers become props for taking photos hahaha...

left over beers

Despite the snow and strong winds, it was fun yet tiring day.. but overall it was a wonderful experience =) and again.. blue blacks are unavoidable hahaha... i fell down for some reason i don't really know why hahaha....

my poor legs...

varun

2008-04-02T05:54:00.011+08:00

Today can be considered as a very fruitful day...
Although i never do any assignments, we managed to plan for our last SUPER TRIP from nothing and now we are 90% done with it =)

all thanks to VARUN!!!

He's a very nice man i met during my stay in Finland

and perhaps one of the nicest person i ever know...

He helped us in our Russia trip although he, himself, may choose not to be involved in these AT ALL.. From finding travel agent to making visa and even in choosing the best and cheap alternatives to minimize the travel cost. On top of that he's willing to came over to our place to discuss about it instead of us finding him..

Next, when we asked him about the mode of transport from Sweden to Denmark, he offered to help us plan our trip... So, after we discussed about the trip to Russia he drafted out a plan for our super trip... After about 2 hours he managed to came out with a great travel plan... So he left us to settle on our accommodation...

After dinner, while planning for our hostel, we consulted him online and he without us asking, he willingly came over to our place (which is about 10 minutes walk from where he stay) although it's already about 10.30pm... I'm really really very touched by his kindness and helpfulness... He even helped us to choose the most accessible and cheap accommodation as well as booked a reservation... I can say that he did almost everything for us!!! I cant describe how thankful i really am to him...

Amazed that there's actually such nice person exist in this times and age.. God, bless Varun cause he's really a nice person. Bless him, his family and everything that he do so that he can be a blessing to others around him too =)

Ok, so here's our travel plan in May hohoho... hope that there will not be anymore changes..
1- Russia, St. Petersburg on 02 May - 06 May with Eleanor, Gillian, Jerald, Isabella and 3 German girls
2- Scandinavian Countries (Sweden, Denmark and Norway) from 07 May - 13 May this times only with Eleanor and Gillian

Will start to pray that the journey will be safe, smooth and fun!!! although it's very packed, hope that we have the strength and energy to last us and we will not fall sick... Especially for the second trip... hope that nothing will go wrong cause only we, 3 girls going!!! hope we will not encounter any crazy people because lately it seems that me and Eleanor always attract mad people on the street hahaha... I believe God will take care of us, whom shall i fear =)

once again a BIG BIG THANK YOU TO VARUN!!!
on top of that, thank You Lord for everything that happen in my life..

i will leave it all into God's hands and fight the flesh..
cause if we're meant to be, no matter what happen we will always be..
and with faith, i believe something great is going to come to me =)

who am i

2008-04-01T04:44:00.006+08:00

These few days addicted to this song...
very nice song with a very very touching lyrics...

WHO AM I
by Casting Crowns

Who am i, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am i, that the bright and morning star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

*Chorus:
Not because of who i am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what i've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wing
Still You, hear me when i'm calling
Lord, You catch me when i'm falling
And You told me who i am
I am Yours

Who am i, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again
Who am i, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

Back to *

Hope you will be blessed by the song =)
God Bless You

spring time

2008-04-01T03:18:00.013+08:00

These few days was rather boring!!!

Despite of many assignments that have to completed, i have no mood at all...
There's not much time left we have to complete everything...
Cross Cultural Communication report has to be submitted on the 14 and we have not research at all... Logistic exam is on the 17 and we have not get the book from the library yet... OH NO!!! So many things to so yet so little time hahaha...

And oh ya, it's daylight saving due to change of season...
Spring is here so we have to move 1 hour faster... instead of 6 hours difference to Singapore, its now 5 hours difference to Singapore...
Temperature also began to rise.. now its average 6 degree and the sun is very bright =)

Jing ting finally bought a laptop so can webcam with her..
miss her funny jokes that can really makes me laugh...
and we planned that maybe one day we will travel during the holiday...
YEAY!!!! looking forward that day to come (which i dunno whether will it come hahaha...)

Missing ci vera and ci hilda... really miss them very much...
maybe will call them one of these days, it has been somethimes since i last talk on the phone hahah...
I miss my family alsoooo.... Today is my grandfater's birthday so everyone gather and just now they called me... So Happyy talking with them that i wish i don't have to hang up the phone...
But its ok, it's april now and i will be back in about 48 more days

Will be going to cruise on 13 and back on the 14 to Tallinn, Estonia...
Looking forward to it, hope it will be great way to escape from the stressful assignments hahaha...

i dunno, i'm really dunno... maybe it's over??
the spirit is willing but flesh are always very very weak...
many times i fell into the same temptation..
God, give me strength to move on and let Thy will be done =)

Lapland

2008-03-25T04:04:00.011+08:00

Went to Rovaniemi, Lapland on friday ..

We took the VR train and when we wanted to buy the tickets, they said that all the seats were fully booked so we have to stand all the way there, which is about 12 hours.. We had no choice as we had already booked the hotel... When we board the train and saw some empty seats we just sit on in hoping that it does not belong to anybody.. Not long after, a lady came and said that it was her seat so i have to stand.. Saw another empty seat and quickly sit on it...

Now each of us has a place to sit down and hoping that noone come and asked us to stand.. each time the train stopped, we were afraid that someone may claim the seat.. so it was a very tiring journey.. we could not rest at all.. but thank God, i can seat at the place i seat all the way until we reached Lapland =)

When we arrived at the hostel i felt giddy as though the whole place is moving.. but it was fine after sometimes.. after we put our things, we decided to walk around the city centre.. But its very quiet everywhere.. all the shops are closed and we realised that it's good friday so it's a holiday!!! we were quite depressed though...

an empty street... it's all ours

So decided to go to santa claus village... When we arrived there, our spirit were lifted up.. at least the place is open and it seems fun there =)

Just before this photo was taken, i fell down...

i had no idea how it happened hahaha i just fell down in front of the snow man =)

The trip to santa village was a fruitful one.. we took photo with santa claus but we could not use our own camera, so have to buy the photo from them...

On the second day, we walked around the city centre.. fortunately the shops are open.. and in the afternoon, we decided to go to the zoo..

igloo

Jerald, disturbing the bird with heat pack hahaha...

Owl

White polar bear

Reindeer

Fox

The zoo was ok, it's big we walked about 2,5 km around the zoo but some animals could not be seen as they were taken away during winter... and also its very very slippery in fact its slippery everywhere in Lapland and Lappeenranta as well... So i have to hold on to Eleanor all the time as i'm really scared i will fall down ahhaha.. Thank you zoom for your help and your nice bubble jacket =)

When we finished walking around the zoo, all the shops have closed so we have to proceed to the bus stop and wait for the bus. It was very very cold that day.. my toes are freezing and we have to wait for about 45 minutes for the bus...

For dinner we just eat at the restaurant beside the train station as it's the nearest from our hostel.. It was so cold that we're not willing to walk any further.. and we checked the temperature its about -13!! no wonder it's so colddd...

Going back home...

maybe i should just forget about you..
but nature doesn't seems to allow me to..

2008-03-19T02:59:00.004+08:00

These few days was rather boring, trip to Tampere was canceled. So, during the weekend just stay at home doing nothing haha...

Get the materials for Alliance & Partnership. In this course we have to complete 5 weekly home assignments and 4 case studies. Met Customer Service & Marketing Logistic Teachers as well. For this module, we have to print the materials from the Ebrary (Electronic Library) that can be accessed from school and we have to borrow a book for the exam. So, today we print all the materials and it was alottttt... it took us sbout 3.5 hours to get all the materials done!! So much.. and all self study. The scary part is that it will be 100% exam for this course.. Hope can understand the notes and passed the exam =)

These few day was addicted to BANANA YOGHURT hahaha.. it's really really very nice.. especially with the real banana inside.. *yummyyyy*

Yoghurt + fresh banana = yummy banana yoghurt =)

And these are some pictures of the laundry room on the ground floor...

It means Laundry

2 washing machines and 1 drying machines

At the drying room door

We usually hang our clothes instead of using the drying machines

Room to iron the clothes

No school tomorrow... but we have to faster settle our A&P home assignments but again NO MOOD!!! hahaha very sleepyyyy....

either it's over or it will just begin...
but i believe God has a great plan for me soon =)

2008-03-15T02:42:00.004+08:00

Finally I'm free =) Finished all exams and presentations.
It was alright.. During the presentation, the teacher said i talked too fast but i felt that i already talked quite slowly.. The exams on the other hand was fine too. However, it was really different from exams in Singapore. The question asked here was really very random. What we thought was not important was asked haha... We can also use pencil to write during exam in fact almost everyone use pencil here.. Just hope that we will do well for the exam =)

Got back IMM project result.. Me and Eleanor get 5/5 for our project yeay!!! Thank God =)

Yesterday received parcel from my cousin... Thank you ci ding2 and ko yong2 ^0^
And here is what is inside hahaha

My friend said i have so much food i can don't go back to Singapore anymore hahhaa....

Went to sauna just now hahaha very relaxing... Tomorrow will be going to Tampere in the morning. Pray that the weather will be fine..

In this new semester we are taking Cross Cultural Communication, Alliances and Partnership (virtual) and Customer Service and Marketing Logisting (self-study). Hope that can study these 2 self-learn modules at home...

Looking forward going to Lapland for easter holiday =)

felt that something is going to happen but will it be about you?

back from europe trip =)

2008-03-08T19:24:00.010+08:00

I'm back from the trip... It was a great and wonderful experience although it was very tiring..

On 19 Feb 2008, took VR to Tampere to spent a night there.. Stayed at 24 hour supermarket and fast food restaurant ABC. We talked all night and "POKER- destiny" reading began hahaha... The reading was quite true so kind of addicted to it hahaha..

The following day, took the first bus to the city centre and proceed to the airport. We were very tired as we didn't sleep all night.. Slept on the bus to the airport.. The budget airport was very small crowded.. The security check was extremely strict.. we had to put all liquid bottles in a very small zip-locked plastic bag.. Tension increased as not all the liquids can be squeezed in.. so some had to be thrown away.. By then, all of our spirit were down.. the traveling mood collapsed..

After some struggle, finally we get through and it was not over yet.. There were so many people taking the same fights to Bremen and since Ryan Air flight was free seating plus we did not check in our luggage, we had to rush to get ourselves a decent place on board.. We dozed of once we get our seat...

- Bremen, Germany -
20 Feb - 21 Feb 2008

Schnoor Street

Next we flew to Paris.. There we stayed at OOPS! Hostel and the 4 of us, girls, had to share room with another 2 girls... Since we arrived at night, sight seeing is done tomorrow...

- Paris -

21 Feb - 23 Feb 2008

Eiffel, I'm in Love

Louvre Museum

Arc de Triomphe

Notre Dame

Although it was not as romantic as how i perceived Paris, it was quite a nice place though. Especially the Eiffel Tower.. In order to go to the peak of the tower, we climbed 328 stairs up to the first level then continued up by lift. Louvre Museum where u can find the famous Monalisa paintings and Notre Dame was nice too..

We left Paris early in the morning to Barcelona, Spain. However due to the foggy weather the flight was delayed until afternoon..

- Barcelona, Spain -
24 Feb - 26 Feb 2008

Sagrada Familia

Park Guell and Casa - Museu Gaudi

We did not visit much attractions in Barcelona. Sagrada Familia was still under constructions and Park Guell was nice and relaxing..

Next destination is Venice. We missed the scheduled bus to the airport and it's quite rush to take the next bus. So we almost took taxi to the airport. However, the bus driver said that it's possible to take the bus and we will not miss the flight so we took the risk and board the bus... True enough we were still on time =)

- Venice -

26 Feb - 27 Feb 2008

What a nice room we have in Venice

Masks are sold everywhere there

St Mark's Square

Gondola, a mode of transport in Venice

Venice is a great place!!! everywhere is surrounded by water , it's very quiet and peaceful there. Very little pollution as there is no vehicle there. It's quite a pity that we only spent 1 day there..

Took the earliest boat and went to the airport early.. Our last stopover will be Rome

- Rome, Italy -

28 Feb - 1 Mar 2008

My shop in Rome =)

Trevi Fountain and the traditional belief of throwing a coin over your left shoulder

Colosseum

St Peter Basilica

Castle St Angelo

View from it in the evening and at night

On the guest book

Magnificence view !!

So that's the end of our trip.. Quite sad to leave.. We want to travel againnnn!!!! hahaha

Cheers to end our SUPER TRIP =)

So that's the end of our travel!!! I will definitely be back again to some of the places..

Now, we have to face the reality again!!! Tests and presentation are waiting for us hahaha..
Glad that presentation and one test is done.. left IMM test.. but we are all in holiday mood stilll...
Hope that we done well for the tests so we can travel again!!!

i have done all i can but why there's still no exact confirmation
or may be i'm just thinking too much??

2008-02-19T04:18:00.004+08:00

Finnally projects are done.. Left exam and presantations only..
6 March - HRM presentation; 7 March - HRM exam; 14 March - IMM Exam.

Holiday is here.. so, will be away from 19 Feb to 2 March..
Pray for good weather, safe trip and enjoyable moments =)

Jing Ting - i already register for calculus and faster e-mail me your stories =p
Geok Hoon - study hard ok, dont be stress!! anything just sms me ok =)
Ismy Jie - ISMY stands for I Super Miss You hahaha
All - will miss u and see you soon

you are the thought that starts each morning and the conclusion to each day..
how can i not miss u... but some things are just difficult to confess..

what we say vs what God says

2008-02-14T07:03:00.004+08:00

Found this nice article...

WHAT WE SAY vs WHAT GOD SAYS

You say: "It's impossible"
God says: All things are possible (Luke 18:27)

You say: "I'm too tired"
God says: I will give you rest ( Matthew 11:28-30)

You say: "Nobody really loves me"
God says: I love you (John 3:16 & John 3:34 )

You say: "I can't go on"
God says: My grace is sufficient (II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)

You say: "I can't figure things out"
God says: I will direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5-6)

You say: "I can't do it"
God says: You can do all things (Philippians 4:13)

You say: "I'm not able"
God says: I am able (II Corinthians 9:8)

You say: "It's not worth it"
God says: It will be worth it (Roman 8:28 )

You say: "I can't forgive myself"
God says: I Forgive you (I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)

You say: "I can't manage"
God says: I will supply all your needs (Philippians 4:19)

You say: "I'm afraid"
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear (II Timothy 1:7)

You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated"
God says: Cast all your cares on Me (I Peter 5:7)

You say: "I'm not smart enough"
God says: I give you wisdom (I Corinthians 1:30)

You say: "I feel all alone"
God says: I will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)

2008-02-12T06:28:00.000+08:00

On Sunday went for Chinese New Year Celebration at Skinnarilan Hovi.. We took the bus from city centre and it left exactly at 11.30 sharp..

We paid €5 and get to participate in many activities, lunch and dinner... There were about 70 over people attended the celebration.. all across the nation.. When we first arrived we ate lunch prepared by finnish volunteers.. After that we were divided into 4 gruoups and did the activities..

The first activity was skiing... I was afraid but decided to try, so gathered all my courage and put on the skiing equioments... It was very fun despites me falling so many times (i think more than 10 over times) hahaha... The ground was wet and slippery!!! Thanks to Laura, a Finnish girl who guided me all along..

When i woke up today, the whole body was aching and this is what happened after skiing hahaha... there are more but censored =P

The next activity was sleeding.. we went up hills through a small and slippery path.. we have to jump over fallen trunk and branches.. so many obstacle course we had to go through.. really had the phobia of falling hahaha... i did not try to sleed as it looks quite scary to me.. so helped the others took photos.. when we walked back down it was even more scary.. but I DID IT yeay!!!

After that we played some winter games.. one of them is ice hockey...

Last activity is snow sculpting.. To do that we need lots and lots of snow, so the guys collected and rolled the snow... and our group decided to make a rat snow hahaha... The other groups did Eifel tower, dragon, snow man.. and the best sculpture is the drangon. Indeed it was very nice...

After we completed the whole activity, went back to the house to rest.. Drank hot chocolate, ate bun and some biscuits... We also made flags of our countries...

When all nations comes together...

... i'm proud to be an INDONESIAN

Ok after that while the others are having sauna we took photos at the back of the house it was very nice scenery.... there was lake and we can do ice fishing but this year the ice was not thick enough so it was quite dangerous to walk on the frozen lake as it may cracked anytime...

After that, it was time for dinner... The dinner was prepared by students from China... There was dumplings, duck, spring roll, tang yuan etc....

After dinner boredom

After dinner we played something like BINGO but with people's name... the next game is passing around deck of cards and those who get As or 5 get to eat chocolate as many as they wants until the next person get those cards again... Lastly before the fireworks we did something like a friendship dance but it was different...

At about 9.30 we board the bus and went home...

Overall... It was a great day =)

Happy Chinese New Year =)

2008-02-08T19:06:00.000+08:00

-HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE-

On CNY eve went to church.. it was great... Pastor Rebecca said a quote "Look at others and you'll be DISTURBED; Look at yourself and you'll be DEPRESSED; Look at God and you'll SEE HEAVEN" It so true hahaha... At night after dinner, went to the guys place and walked out in the snow with slippers. It was slippery so i fell down flat on the snow hahaha...

After that.. was forced to go to club at Diva.. went there, it was not as bad as i thought... not that crowded in fact it was quite relaxing hahhaa the sofa and pillow was very comfortable.. better than my bed hahaha.. stayed there until about 2.30am and once i reached home start calling back to Indonesia to wish my big family a happy chinese new year... Called until about 4.. miss them alottt... miss the togetherness, talk *gossip*, fun and laughters.. love my grandparents very much... exactly 100 more days 'till i'll be back to Singapore

Thank God for a great family You've given me =)

Chinese New Year Eve Meal

CHEERS

At Diva

Chinese New Year Day

Ok shall continue with projects and projects hahaha...

It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. I wish i know how to give up on you...

It's February now

2008-02-01T22:36:00.000+08:00

Hi all.. it has been one month since i'm in Finland....
Nothing much happening this month and everything is fine =)

School was quite relaxing, not much work to do..
Up to now, we have 2 projects to complete..
- International Marketing Management (Carrefour Case Study)
- Organisational and Management Behaviour (Flexible working hours: Pros and Cons)

Oh ya glad that i'm selected to go for Fund Management option.. Jing Ting and Angie were also selected... HAPPY!!! hope that we will be in the same class..

These few weeks have been thinking about the word "COINCIDENCE" hahaha...
I know that all things happen according to God's plan.. but then, why does the word coincidence exists?? so what does coincidence means??
Asked many people and the conclusion is...
Coincidence is just a lay man term used by non believers. As believers, we shall believe that no matter it's a good or bad coincidence, it happens for a reason and according to God's plan. Coincidence can be a sign and also a trials from God.. So, all we have to do when we were disturbed by series of coincidences is to pray and ask God to show us His will.. hehehe =)

In February more thigs will be happening..
We will be travelling during the winter break holiday 19 Feb to 2 March... The travel destinations will be Tampere (Finland), Bremen (German), Paris (France), Barcelona (Spain), Venice and Rome (ITALY) and back to Helsinki (Finland)... I hope it will be a great and memorable journey... Pray that everything will go smoothly =)

That's all abouit it first.. Going to laundry and wash clothes ahhaha...
After that will start cooking dinner...

should i tell you? or should i not?

going going

2008-01-24T05:39:00.000+08:00

Hi hi hi... i'm very sleepy now, but suddenly have the urge to blog hehehe =)

Let's begin with the trip to Helsinki last Saturday.. Woke up at 4.30 to catch the earliest train.. When we were on the train station, a woman approached us and said that we have to be careful as there will be winter storm in Helsinki and there will be roofs flying.. I was a bit worried but believe that God will take care of us =)
True enough, when we arrived in Helsinki, the wind was very strong and it was raining heavily.. so, by the end of the day we were drenched and our hair was very messy hahaha...

However, we went through it all and everything was fine and fun!!
We went shopping, visited historical landmarks and took loads of photos...
There are really many photo so here's all the photos : http://picasaweb.google.com/ms.marianatan/HelsinkiTrip

These few days was snowing heavily but glad that it was not very cold.. It’s still bearable..
We were told that the lowest temperature that ever happened here was -43 degree and around this time of the month last year the temperature was -25 degree... thank God that this year it was not that cold =)

Today went for an English bible study at Sammonlahti Church... Glad that finally found at least an English Christian community here... There were people from Nigeria, Ethiopia, Russia, Tanzania and Lapland.. It is nice to see people from different countries coming together to praise and worship Him..

Here are some pictures of the church

whenever i decided to completely erase the memory, something will happen that will make me think twice whether it is the right decision to forget it all... your name popped out in places i never expect.. so what does this all mean??? forget or dont forget...

122 more days in Finland

2008-01-17T06:26:00.000+08:00

School was ok.. finally decided what modules we will take..

Free on every wednesday =)

For period 3 (7 Jan'08 - 7 March'08) we will take: International Marketing Management, Business Management and Organization and English Conversation

For period 4 (10 Mar'08 - 2 May'08) we will take: Cross Cultural Communication, Alliances & Partnerships and Customer Service and Marketing Logistics
Winter Holiday is on 25 Feb to 29 Feb.. and exam is 5 May to 16 May..

Most of the modules we take are marketing subjects.. it's not really related to my diploma but we have no choice as the modules offered are mostly marketing modules.. Every lesson here are usually 3 hours hahaha... well i think it's because since, english is not the main language here so the teachers have to take sometimes to think of what they have to say =)

Anyway.. the school is very generous.. we can print anything in the library for free hahaha..

I began to feel bored.. looking forward to travel this weekends...

Inside lecture room

School canteen.. rather small though

My 3 essential cards here:
- The yellow one is for school canteen student discount.. each meal will cost 2.35 euro
- The blue ATM card is from Handelsbanken
- The other one is VR Train and Bus card.. with these we are entitled with 50% discount

School start!!!

2008-01-11T00:04:00.000+08:00

These past few days, the snow was quite heavy so we did not go out and just stay at home. Despite the heavy snow, the temperature was fine about -1 to 3 degree..

Went to school and there were about 20 exchange students including us.. Most of them are from Russia. From our place to school is about 20 minutes walk.. Here are some photos of the school..

School was ok but the system was quite confusing. There were 4 periods during this semsester. And now we are in period 3. They gave us a new set of time table that consists of 6 modules, but these modules are not the one we have choosen when we were in Singapore. They also said that there will be new modules offered in period 4 which they also don't know yet what are the modules. So we were all confused over what modules should we take..

E-mailed Mr.Tan and he said that we have to complete 6 modules in total.. So our current decision is to take 3 modules now and 3 modules in period 4. Well.. it's kind of risky because noone knows how many modules will be offered in period 4...

Choosing modules is very troublesome.. Each module has pros and cons hahaha... So must choose carefuly and wisely.. Pray that we get good modules =)

Today went to PRISMA Supermaket.. It's very big.. something like Carrefour Supermarket.. It was quite far and the most irritating part is the road.. As the temperature rises, the snow melts making the road wet and slippery.. The water gets into my shoe.. and it's very very cold.. My feet was freezingly cold... So, i decided to buy myself a boots tomorrow..

Anyway we will be settling our VR cards (train discount card)!! excited to travel out of here =)

127 more days in Finland hahahaha... i miss attending church service very much...

I was almost getting over it, but some things are just hard to forget..

HAPPY!!!!!

2008-01-08T04:48:00.000+08:00

YEAY!!! Very Happy!!! Finally the internet can be solved.. Thanks God =)
Thanks to Andy also who managed to figure out this internet problem... THANK YOU!!

Ok well, where should i begin..
I have arrived and more or less adapt myself in this new environment..
It was a long journey, full of different kind of emotions.. but it was a memorable one =)

On the day of my departure, Felicia came and gave me 'CIKO' hahha... She forced me to bring it here despite my heavy luggage.. so, CIKO is now here in Finland =) On that day, aing hwie2, au kun, ko yong2, ci ding2, elice, michelle, ci chien, ci sen and ci liang2 (touched by her presence..) sent me.. thanks all... will definately miss u!!!!

When i arrived at the airport, my aunt told me that my luggage is the biggest haha.. so when i checked in, it prooved to be 33kg hahaha.. well, they said that the limit is 23kg which means i'm over by 10kg.. but i managed to pass through =) Thanks God.. Andy- 26kg, Eleanor- 25kg and Gillian- 21kg said that i'm the champion hahhaa.. but i'n NOT!!! cause Jerald's luggage is 36 kg hahaha..

Passed the immigration checkpoint feeling very sad but kept reminding myself that 4 and a half months will be fast.. The check at the gate is very strict, we have to remove electronic devices (laptop) from our bag which i have no idea for what... Board the plane and it will be 12 and a half our journey to London. Landed in London at 5am (singapore 1pm) and waited for 7 hours before we continue to fly to Finland, Helsinki. Arrived at about 4.30pm (singapore 10.30pm) and when we getting our baggage, Eleanor's luggage as well as Andy and Jerald guitars was not there.. so, we have to wait until 9pm when finally all the things came out..

After that we changed and equipped ourselves for the cold weather outside (0 degree).. I have to also prepare myself to carry my extra heavy luggage as well as my 10kg sling bag.. We took bus to the hotel and from the bus stop we have to walk to the hotel.. Not knowing the area, we walked the wrong way =( All of us were super tired dragging our luggage in the middle of a cold snowy night. Felt like crying and giving up already... my luggage and sling bag is very heavy!!! After about 30-45 minutes of finding the way, we found our hotel. Felt very relieved.. Once we enter the hotel room, we bathe and sleep to prepare ourselves for a long journey again tomorrow...

Woke up, had breakfast, took photos and off we go to the train station to go to Lappeenranta, a place where we will be for the next 4 and a half months.. Ms Mari, the teacher in-charge, fetched us at the train station and brought us to our apartement. Sad to say.. our room is at the second floor, which means i have to carry the luggage uo the stairs as there is no lift... Me and Gillian tried hard to carry the luggage and i couldn't stop laughing which i have no idea why hahhaa.. anyway thanks Gillian =) Saw our room and shifted the furniture here and there hahaha... unpacked the luggage and tidy up the bed... we were sad to found out that the internet connection can only be used by 1 computer at one time..

In the evening the tutors came to bring us around this town and bought some groceries... The first night, we ate instant noodles and laughed our way throughout.. from this, my laughing habbit begins.. i have no idea why i kept laughing.. hahahha... it seems like i LOVE laughing hahhaa...

Ok, basically these few days we just went around the town everyday...
The temperature was around -8 to -15 but the wind factor made it felt extremely cold...
As for our meal, we had bread and butter for breakfast.. and we have tried to cook several times for dinner.. we cooked potato and spagetthi hahhaa... it was not bad.. we have improved since our first attempt =)

Ok i think i shall stop here for now..
Here is the link to the photos: http://picasaweb.google.com/ms.marianatan

photos

2008-01-06T08:20:00.000+08:00

sorry all for the late posts..
i know i will have alot to say so finding a good time for that..
there is some problem with the internet here..
once it is settled i will posts

as for now you can see pictures at:
http://picasaweb.google.com/ms.marianatan

Welcoming 2008 and Finland

2007-12-31T16:31:00.000+08:00

In about 7 and a half more hours, 2007 is going to end and lets welcome 2008 with a big heart.
In about 6 and a half more hours, i will be leaving Singapore heading to Finland =)

Many things happened and it happened so fast.. Above all, really thank God for everything this year. No doubts there were ups and downs, but glad that i can go through it all, cause i have a mighty God who is good now, yesterday, tomorrow and forever. What have i learnt this year is that... People change, they disappoint us but if we put our trust in Him, he will never makes us sad. True that we often feel that He never hear our prayer, but remember that He never sleep. He is never too early or too late to answer our prayer. The answer will cime on time, perfect in His time =) Looking forward for great things He had planned for me in 2008.. Hope that in 2008, He will be the centre of my focus in everything i do (Matthew 6:33)

Finland... finished packing.. and my luggage is super duper extremely heavy!!!!! when i tried to weigh, it's about 30+kg hahhaa but the baggage limit given by the BA is 23kg. How could that be possible.. My friend told me that when she go to Australia the limit is 35 kg. My aunt also.. when she went to US the limit is 35kg per luggage and they can even take up to 2 luggage.. We will be going there for 5 months but only 23kg is allowed.. i really don't understand.. but nevermind.. My God will takes care of it.. i just haveto believe in Him =)

have not been feeling good these few days due to lack of sleep (night talk with abok until 5am) and been trying to control my emotions hahaha.. missing my family and friends already... touched by every single things they did before my depature but could not express my thankfulness as i know i will burst into tears!! Thanks for every prayer and all the gifts..
Ismy jie, xie xie.. i will miss you, will meet again in 8 monts time =) really thankful..

next posts will be in 2008 and in FINLAND!!! hahhaa... take care all..
God Bless =)

Happy + Tired

2007-12-29T00:13:00.000+08:00

Firstly, Merry Christmas 2007 to all. Hope that not only we enjoyed the holiday but we realised what does Christmas actually means..

Yesterday out with Sarah, Valerie and Freda. We talked and keep each other updated with things that happened since we left secondary school.. Many surprising things happened hahaha.. Thanks Val for the present :) Found out that Pamela has moved house, which means.. my christmas card.. was sent to the wrong address hahhaha... Despite her presence, Geok Hoon gave me a surprise gift and our 'book'.. Very touched.. Thanks alot alot alot..

Today went out with cici Hilda to IKEA and we shared alot of things along the way.. cici aku pasti akan sangat kangen cici... Makasih banget ci ya buat semuanya, aku akan selalu ingat nasehat cici dan SEMANGAT!! :)

After that, meet up with Felicia n Einsny.. as usual they were late hahaha.. Einsny will be going to Disneyland for attachments (6 months) Eins gua juga mau!! jangan lupa oleh2 nya yah hahaha... Talked and talked and talked... we realised that we have all grew up and looking forward what will happen ahead of us.. Too bad our da jie was not there.. Or else it will be more fun!! We will rake up the past especially her all time favourite subject "Sec 2 camp" hahaha Topic seems endless for us but time kept running so we have to go home... despite the tiredness, today is great!!

Tomorrow everyone from indo is coming!!! YEAY!!! happy!!! will meet abok, ci sen, ci chien, mich, mon, tina and all....

Until now i have not finished my packings.. i did not feel any excitement.. it's weird but i just dont know why.. i feel like nothing is happening. Like what happened last time when i went to korea with my cousin (only the two of us) i began to feel excited when we were in a taxi on the way to the airport when i asked her "ci, kita beneran ke korea yah?" (are we really going to korea?) hahhaha..

I dont know what i'm feeling right now.. it seems like i want to clear some doubts but i'm not really interested to know the truth.. never mind.. i'm just too tired i guess.. anyway I dont need to know so long as my God knows... He will take care of everything if i put my trust in Him :)

Don't be afraid!!

2007-12-23T18:54:00.000+08:00

Woke up late today and the devil whispered to me not to go to church since it's already late.. glad that i can overcome this temptation and rushed to church.. Thanks God :) Sermon today was simple, about trusting God and don't be afraid. Took my daily bread (Abok calls it hamburger hahaha...) and what came out is from Matthew 6:34. Read a short, 30 page book on -Resep Menghadapi Masalah- by Ev. drg. Yusak Tjipto. Love it!! Walaupun tipis, tapi isinya buagusss buangettt!!! Again it says there that faith is the key to everything and if we have faith we shall not worry.. Well, i think it's a personal message from God that He wants me to trust Him and never be afraid. I also remember koko told me that God says 'dont be afraid' 366 times in the bible and FEAR = False Evidence Appears Real. Thanks God for Your words in my life :) Teach me not to worry about anything, for everything is perfect in Your hands.

Received christmas gift from ci hilda n ko riky.. ThankYou :) Today is my last day in sunday school before i go to Finland.. hiks hiks will miss sunday school.. Wondering will there be english church in Finland.. Anyway have prepared myself with sermons and books hehehe..

Yesterday abok n michelle told me that they will be coming to Singapore on 29 December.. Yeay!!! happy.. hope that ci chien n ci sen can come also :) Next week will be a busy week.. The last week of preparation to Finland and will be meeting friends.. Tomorrow, kebaktian christmas eve celebration.. looking forward to it!! Want to attend kebaktian old and new juga, tapi ngak bisa.. This year count down is a special one, in the plane.. Hope it will be great!! My wishes for the new year will be made in the air hahaha...

I guess that's it for today.. Once again, DON'T BE AFRAID :)

11 more days

2007-12-20T23:09:00.000+08:00

finland finland and finland...
busy preparing for my finland trip.. so many things to bring... so many things to buy.. but i believe it will be very fun there!! cant wait to feel the snow, counting down 11 more days to go...

THANK YOU to Angie, Jasmine, Nicole and Jing Ting for the Fish & Co. treat.. I'll miss doing projects, eating Yong Tau Hu, going lecture, attending tutorial together and hope we can be in the same class next semester :) to JT, i'll miss your english, waking u up in the morning, helping u to tap admin cards, sharing 'rare' cards (dont buy too many rare cards when i'm in Finland ok!), FSRC moments, etc...

talking about it, i'm sure i will miss a lot of people while i'm away (in random)...
1) ismy jie - kita bakal gak ketemu for 8 months!!! oh no!!! mimosa ku.. huhuhuhu....
2) ci hilda n ci vera - aku pasti miss sharing with kalian.. rajin2 online yah ci :)
3) felicia - prennnn.. gua bakal kangen omelan2 lu hahhaha...
4) ci chien n ci sen - kalian sih gak ke sini natalan!!! kalo telp dr sana kan mahal..
5) ci ding n ko yong - i'll miss sitting inside keroro car :) aku juga mau pasta waraku!!
6) lantai 10 ppl (eric, mich, abok)
- eric.. aku pasti kangen ngorekin kupingmu hahahhaa
- mich n abok.. kalian jangan kangen senyumanku yang indah yah :) bok, why dont selama aku away kamu yg beli2 sabun, shampoo di chinatown and keperluan rumah lainnya wahahhaa (i know it's impossible)
- mich.. i'll miss your 'voice' n your 'pose' oohh... (versi titi kamal)
- abok.. bok, i'll definately NOT miss your singing hahahhaa.. but i'll miss our 'wall of galauness'
7) listya.. dajie, lu pasti bakal kangen denger kata2 gua yang romantic n poetic hahhaha
ok shall stop it.. or else the list will not end..

anyway, finally done with christmas gifts and cards yesterday.. hope it will reach their mail box on time. Thanks Mr.Postman :)

it feels bad to miss someone and knowing that you should do nothing about it
to do something will be a mistake, cause it will hurt you even more..
so, sesuai dengan slogan ci Hilda, SEMANGAT!!!! I know i can get over it!!!

finally

2007-12-16T00:31:00.000+08:00

finally finished my blog.. thanks Jing Ting for the help =)
JT, i will try not to post in bahasa indonesia, unless otherwise hahaha